I had chosen to wear a deep-blue three-piece suit that day, and all that was left was to knot my tie and wear my shoes. I picked up my tie and stood in front of the mirror. I stand in front of that mirror everyday but that day felt different, I looked at myself and I realized how much I had grown. Not just in stature, I mean who would have seen me ten years ago and thought that by now I'd own a multi-million dollar company. I certainly wouldn't have.
My phone rang, snapping me out of my thoughts. I stretched towards the bedside table and picked up the phone. As soon as I realized it was my father I muted the call and dropped it back on the table. Why was he calling me? I had made it clear I didn't want to speak with him ever again.
My relationship with my father used to be perfect when I was little. I saw him as my hero. Whenever I was distressed or needed anything he would always provide a solution. The only problem was he was always busy, always going on business trips, and always doing one thing or the other.
"When did it all go wrong?" I thought to myself as I went back to knotting my tie.
I thought back to when I was 16. I had finally gotten the chance to go live with him in one of the places he was transferred to. I was so excited, finally I could live with, learn from, and know more about my hero. I happily flew halfway across the country to be with him.
For the first week or so he was every bit how I'd imagined him to be. Loving, caring, Intelligent, and a lot more. But eventually, little by little some of his unpleasant traits started showing. He wasn't doing anything morally incorrect, far from it. But I just couldn't get over how much of a perfectionist he was. He always wanted everything to be done exactly the way he wanted it whether it concerned him or not, no matter how little the detail. He'd query me for not lacing my shoes his own way, for not cutting my hair like his, or even for not thinking like he would in a particular situation. Eventually I began to second guess myself, rather than think on my own my first thought would be what he would do. And what was more annoying was that he never took corrections from anyone. I had tried to tell him various times but he saw it as disrespect.
Eventually I got tired of being his puppet and began to stand up to him. This led to many arguments between us. At some point a day would not pass without at least a small argument.
The last argument between us happened ten years ago. I can't even remember clearly what it was about. All I remember is that it was night, we were both in his car and he was complaining about something I did. At that moment it didn't even matter what he was saying, I just decided I'd had enough. I snapped and he reacted. We were both exchanging words when all of a sudden we were blinded by the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. My dad swerved and we crashed into a trash can at the side of the road. Thankfully none of us got hurt, but we were both still furious. My father proceeded to blame me for the crash and I just left. I told myself I wasn't going to continue like this. I told myself I wasn't going to return to him. This incident motivated me to become my own man.
At times I wished we didn't get close, who knows maybe he'd still be my hero. At times that imaginary image you have of a person may be better than the person really is, and getting to know the person just breaks your heart because you know you'll never get to see the person that way ever again.
I picked up the phone and stared at it for a couple minutes hoping he'd give up and stop calling but it kept ringing.
Then the seemingly impossible happened, an unknown number called me. I knew it was still him, but I was surprised. He never picked calls from unknown numbers, even when I had tried to convince him that I could use an unknown number during an emergency. So why would he expect me to pick the call. Or perhaps it was a code or message of some sort, I had to find out. I reluctantly picked the call.
Hearing his voice, though I'd never admit it to him, made me feel better. And what made me feel even better, was the fact that he apologized for everything. I understood he was only trying to do what he felt was best for me. I also apologized for the way I acted. After that we decided we'd meet later in the day for lunch and maybe catch up on old times. I'm looking forward to seeing this new version of my Dad.