WE #199 × 20 years later everything makes sense ×

Beautiful community, I come to answer this round of questions that I love, I opted for the one about "20 years is nothing" as the tango says... a little over a month ago some buddy asked me how old I was and without mincing words I answered "14 with 20 years of experience" yes, the challenging answer was also unexpected for me, yes, I played dirty with low tricks, but I was also very honest about it.
Because precisely with this circular time that makes us be alert, reviewing experiences in the manner of: "this situation reminds me of..." or "I already experienced this" and is not deja vu, it gives us the opportunity to operate consciously. and respond from a better position, which can be kinder or more blunt depending on the circumstances.

At 14 years old I was a very serious little person, bordering on boring because I didn't encourage myself too much to be who I really wanted to be and do what made my heart really beat, I had all the existing complexes and the world revolved around minimalism, extreme thinness and the dispossession left over from the turbulent 90's and its pizza with champagne, all in all I didn't have a bad time but just entering adolescence I moved further and further away from who I dreamed of being to try to integrate into the world and for it to appreciate me between cottons, it was not going to happen, but I still fell into all the traps and with all the pleasure of trying the new experiences to which I suddenly found access.

I don't have many photos from those years, in fact, I don't have any now that I think about it haha
But after having gone through those 20 years becoming a girlfriend, a mother, rebuilding my life, learning to be a friend to my friends, a companion to my colleagues, an apprentice to my teachers, a refuge for whoever needs it, I began to seek to be my own safe place. , and stirring old but well preserved dreams I can say with a certain nobility that this time helped forge in me the courage that I could not before see and appreciate people for who they really are, I learned to see myself and thus I learned to see others, (sometimes I get a little carried away too, but that's funny ;)
A couple of years ago I began the arduous task of giving back the opportunities that my own apathy took from me and against all odds I have more and more desire to become who I always dreamed of and dedicate myself to what my dreams and my traumas drive me to be, yes. , are also part.

With this in mind I bring up a small anecdote to illustrate this spiral journey, part of who I am is a cat-lover of course, and my shiatsu teacher hires me to take care of her kittens when she goes on a trip to give courses or vacation getaways, it is a woman that I admire deeply and professionally, so it is an honor for me that she has that trust in me, she on a past trip found a giant praying mantis that left her stunned and extremely inspired, yesterday I found another mantis at her house that I I sent a photo and left it locked in the bathroom with water safe from the cats, we had a very meaningful talk about it about the symbolism and messages of the universe, etc. Curiously, when I was little I took care of my cats and other cats ad honorem to the point of infecting me with toxoplasmosis, no one ever knew about it and I was cured just like that, I found out during the visit to the obstetrician when I took some tests that she requested, thanks to that situation of having gone through the disease without medication, my children were born immune to it LOL, so this makes me the most qualified person for this task xD I say goodbye with this example to unfairly accuse that life 20 years on puts us in the place we have to be, that we earned, even if we went around the world to get away from our true essence, what is real is reborn and remains .

That's why we shouldn't leave dreams buried for too long, perhaps we have time to make them come true. I am the same girl I was, but better 😁 and I know that I exist in some future martial arts teacher, with vast knowledge of traditional Chinese medicine, tantric companion helping and assisting whoever appreciates it, singing, dancing, drawing, writing, etc... and we are going to meet!

Thanks for reading!

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