Feel before you Speak

Inspiring others could be a tedious job, especially when you aren’t motivated enough. But if you are somehow attached to it and you are trying to pass on the ‘job,’ maybe it’s not that difficult at all— you know, gathering some words and saying it loud; yeah, you can do it, you got it….blah blah.

To me, the actual interpretation of inspiring someone lies in doing it myself first; setting oneself as an example before asking someone to follow. Being a role model. But it’s not that we all are jack of all trades, there are countless stages where our experience doesn’t ring a bell. How do you inspire others in such circumstances— might be contradictory if I suggest ‘just say some wise (borrowed) words, it will work.’ In a situation like this, the best form of inspiration derives from life lessons. It’s an act of scouring through life’s countless events and reflecting on the most suitable ones; connecting the legacy. I believe so. Works best for someone trying to achieve a goal.

Personally, I didn’t have many opportunities to inspire others. Pitfalls of being an introvert. But, whenever it came to me, mostly from friends, trust me, I managed to make them feel uplifted. If I recollect, it always comes in the form of stories, you know, bringing out examples that happened with me or someone I know— this makes me walk in their shoes. So, I know how it feels. And when you know how are they feeling, even to the least, your words connect in a better way than quoting historical figures.

Unfortunately, I can never start just randomly.

So, if I am to inspire someone, it’s not like I will start pampering right away. It requires a suitable situation, putting them at ease so they are more receptive away from thoughts tangling the mind.

Let them talk, note the points, and when the tone feels right, give it a pause and start yours— that’s how I do it.

But even before that, I try to be judgemental— trying to assess whether the attempt will do any better. Not every issue requires subjective inspiration. Perhaps the person you are dealing with is going to make a wrong decision. What if someone asks you to inspire him for a cause that might turn out deadly?

So, in my opinion, inspiration isn’t just cheering up someone to start pursuing the agenda, it’s more like setting up the right direction and trying to eliminate distractions on their way.

Silence works too.

People feel demotivated for many reasons. Maybe he is too distracted by the surrounding chaos. He knows the solution, but the distraction makes the whole process uneven. Reciting words of wisdom in such situations might turn into a disappointment for the person involved. He may feel undervalued. He knows he can figure this out himself but sometimes we act like we are way too concerned and start pushing. In most cases, the affected person loses interest. He might lose his confidence too.

To inspire someone in such situations, I believe maintaining silence is the best option. Listening to him and showing that you are by his side might work better than paving out possible solutions to his problem unless you know how deep the root has gone or in short, you walk in his shoes.

Showing empathy and empowering his self-esteem instead of emphasising how your solution is a game changer may have a profound impact on him. This works for me most of the time anyway.

Surpassing everything, if you want to inspire someone from your heart, be a true friend irrespective of your relationship with the person, cause—

“When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”

Happy weekend folks!


Ⓒ mine

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