The topic given for this weekend engagement by @galenkp is accident. When it comes to accidents, the one that I will never forget and that which impacted my life the most is the day when my autistic son Jonathan almost drowned.

This incident happened when Jonathan was around 9 years old. It was a weekend and my wife Roselind was feeling a bit tired and stressed out. In order to let my wife rest at home, I decided to bring Jonathan to Wisma Saberkas, a shopping cum office complex that was close to my house. We normally go out together, the three of us so that we can keep a watchful eye on Jonathan as he was hyperactive. But I have also brought Jonathan out on my own before and I had not encountered any problems before.

However, on that fateful morning, I was distracted for about a minute and when I turned around Jonathan was nowhere to be found. I searched for him frantically but to no avail. I called my wife and then family members and friends joined the search party. When by mid-morning and Jonathan was still missing, I lodged a police report.

Later, I found out Jonathan had gone to the KFC stall and asked for food. The assistant manager there gave him a piece of chicken and called a security guard. The security guard then escorted Jonathan out of the complex and did not know what happen to Jonathan next. When I questioned the guard why he chase Jonathan out of the complex, he replied "Dia kacau orang" (He disturbed other people)

I think it was about mid-afternoon that I received a call from the police. I was informed that a small boy had been found at the Kuching Waterfront and I was asked to identify whether it was Jonathan. Roselind and I rushed to the Kuching Waterfront. There we saw Jonathan with all his clothes drenched, shivering and sitting at the corner. Our hearts leaped for joy, and with tears streaming from our faces, we hugged Jonathan.

The Kuching Waterfront is located a few miles from Wisma Saberkas. Even to this day it is still a mystery how Jonathan ended up here.

A policeman told us that a boatman had pulled Jonathan out of the Sarawak River. If it were not for the boatman, Jonathan would have drowned. We thanked the boatman profusely as he had saved Jonathan's life. The boatman, En Yussof told us he was rowing his boat ferrying passengers from one side of the river to the other side. From the corner of his eye, he noticed something strange bobbing up and down the river. His curiosity was piqued and he rowed nearer to investigate. Upon closer inspection, he realized that it was a pair of hands floating along the river; Jonathan's body could not even be seen. The boatman reached out for Jonathan's hands and pulled him out of the water. It was really a close shave and to me, on that day a miracle had happened and Jonathan's life was spared.

About a week later we held a "Makan Selamat" (thanksgiving dinner) and invited the boatman and all those had joined in the search party.

Jonathan with En Yusoff, the boatman who saved him.

This incident impacted me tremendously. First of all, I must admit that it was my fault that Jonathan got lost. At that time, he was hyperactive and I should have known better and keep my eyes on him at all times.

What I could not accept was that he was chased out of the shopping complex by the security guard. A simple annoucement over the PA system would have reunited me and Jonathan. If Jonathan had caused a disturbance at Wisma Saberkas, why not detained him or even call the police. I managed to see the chairman of the Management Corporation. He informed me that the reason Jonathan "was asked to leave" the complex was should Jonathan be detained and should anything happen to Jonathan during his detention, then the company would be held responsible. It seems to be he is more worried about the company's liability then about Jonathan's (who was a customer) safety. This really incensed me and for quite sometime I was full anger and hatred for the guard especially. I felt that Jonathan being chased out of the shopping complex was grossly unfairly treated. At the same time I felt so helpness and powerless, unable to do something about the situation. My superior at work Puan Roziah told me, "Charles, you cannot carry on like this, you need to find closure".

I had to do a lot of soul searching. I was also angry at myself for not taking better care of Jonathan. With a lot heartache and reflection, I realized that this anger and hatred was not serving any purpose and was in fact eating me up. I had to move forward.

Looking back, it was quite possible that the guard did not know that Jonathan was autistic and was not trained on how to handle him. At that time, the level of awarness about autism in Sarawak was very low. As I was the Vice-President of the Sarawak Autisitc Association ( now known as Kuching Autistic Association), I have the avenue as well as the knowledge to raise awareness about autism. The Association then organized a number of actvities such as printing brochures about autism, talks and seminars. Hopefully with the society in general being more educated about autism, they will understand people with autism more and interact with them more postively.

In fact today 2 April 2022 is "World Autism Awareness Day". I initially hesitated whether I should write about Jonathan's accident as it would bring back a lot sad memories and hurts. But I need to do my part to get society to focus it's attention on autism today. Just as I do not want my son to be chased out of the shopping complex, I do not want society "to chase away" people with autism. With better awarness on autism, people with autism will be integrated with and form part and parcel of society. That is my wish as a father who has an autistic son.

This incident has also changed my outlook on life as well as my life drastically. Previously I used to get angry when anyone says "God has a plan for Jonathan". I always thought that it was utterly ridiculous. Now that God has given Jonathan a second chance to live, He must have a reason for saving him. I used to feel that life is so unfair because I have an autistic son. "Why me?", I used to think to myself. The name Jonathan means gift from God, I must learn how to appreciate this gift. There are so many life lessons that my autistic son have taught me, and this transformed me to be a better version of myself.

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The Weekend Engagement

The weekend engagement is a challenge created by @galenkp. It is a fun contest where you can write about a range of topics with a prompt provided. I like to take part because I get a lot of interactions with other hive members and you don't have to crack your head to think of what to write. @galenkp is also the founder of the Weekend Community.

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