Living for three decades made me appreciate the beauty of life. But with honest-to-goodness, I am scared to live at 100 years old.
I do not want to be the last man standing in my family. I am afraid to be left behind all alone without my loved ones.
There is an option to stay in a retirement home or the nursing home for the old aged, but it does not feel exciting to me. Perhaps I cannot dwell in a happier life without their presence.
When my grandfather left us ten years ago, it was so heartbreaking, and I felt depressed for a while. When my sister was gone, I admit that I felt hopeless. And now, I am moving on with a fear of loss, and I think of not living that long.
But what if I could live for 100 years? How would it be?
The #weekend-engagement concept for week #130 by @galenkp asks about turning 100 years old.
”If you could live to the age of 100 years and retain either the mind or the body of your 30-year-old self all the way through, which would you choose and Why?.”
I choose neither.
I cannot imagine myself retaining either the mind or the body of a 30-year-old all the way through, so I choose neither.
Combining my mind and body with a 100-year-old self seems useless and insignificant, for, in reality, it will only make me an idiot.
Undoubtedly, if it happens, I will not be enjoying life. Instead, it will only bring a burden to my existence.
At present, I am on a 30-year-old scale. If I retain the healthy mind or the healthy body I have now and be with a century-year-old, I probably would only end up telling stories in the past while lying down in bed with an ill and sickly self like a rotten vegetable.
Even if I am lying down in a beautiful place with active youth surrounding me, I still fail a lot regarding productivity.
I always love every little thing about nature as I see life, yet happiness is superficial. I may be able to catch a glimpse of a beautiful atmosphere, but everything turns down when I see death in the future. I feel like the world conspires to bury me for living an abnormal life.
A 100-year-old reflects a good lifestyle but life in this generation is a paradox. Somehow it is a matter of understanding mortality. I have nothing to prove, and I accept who I am. And my love for all the people I love who will be the thing they will remember.
To dwell for a century or more is so thrilling, but I know for sure that I cannot live forever. I cannot prove anything, and I have nothing to prove about my existence now if I have a great mind or body.
I cannot dare to live a life like this. Either a healthy mind or body is retained by life to me as I turn 100 years old. It does not make sense. It is only useless, meaningless, and insignificant.
How will I enjoy life if I am not holistically healthy? It is not an ideal thing to have a younger mind or body retained in a 100-year-old self. Still, I am scared to live at 100 years old with this particular situation unless, at this age, everything becomes younger that comes with a total package and with the existence of my loved ones.
Disclaimer: All texts and pictures are my own unless otherwise stated.