African settings have put the man at the forefront of every task, and this does not exclude approaching the opposite gender for a date or relationship. Sometimes in 2018, in faraway Northern Nigeria, which was about a 12- to 14-hour journey by road, I was posted to Kebbi State for the compulsory national youth service corps (NYSC), and I voluntarily chose to stay back as a corp member. NYSC affords you the opportunity to meet eligible bachelors and bachelorettes whom you may have missed during your undergraduate days of study.
This was the moment I met Aisha (not her true name), who happened to be a fellow corp member in the same place of primary assignment (PPA). She took a paramedical course while I was posted to the hospital as a serving doctor. Again, she had a recurrent medical emergency, and I was only a phone call away from coming to her rescue.
Our friendship was widespread, and we kept tabs on each other like lovers. I knew there was not going to be any future in our relationship if we considered that as an option, owing to the fact that she was a product of a strong Islamic background from the north while I was a Christian boy from the west. She was kind enough to show me around the small capital city on a few occasions, and it was during one of her visits that she promised me a date.
I sincerely did not take her seriously because it was unusual for female folks to do such a thing, and being in the north, it sounded like the risks outweighed the benefits.
Aisha, however, kept to her word and took me to a serene hangout spot that had some level of privacy. We were both not very comfortable, even though she asked that we stay in a VIP room. By the way, we sat on a well-laid and beautified rug; the room had artistic designs of the Hausa culture, and food was served in the traditional way of bowls. It was an awkward moment for me as I gave her free hands to foot all the bills as she insisted. We had some chitchat and left almost immediately after we had eaten. She was not comfortable taking pictures and was cautious of any recognizable person. That date was not only awkward to me; it was risky (for she was from a strong Muslim background and i was in faraway north where help was distance), though I enjoyed the gesture and her company.
Our friendship remained after the date, even though she told me her parents had chosen an Alhaji for her as a spouse, where she would be a second wife. Not long after I left Kebbi, she got married (even though I refrained from asking the details). We still have each other’s contacts and occasionally drop some greetings.