Help!

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Am I a master first-aider? Sure I’m like Florence Nightingale, Nurse Ratched and James Herriot rolled into one; doctor in residence to the family and veterinarian to galliformes and canines.

I have a healthy interest in health, which is just as well since retiring to live off the fat of the land miles from civilization, we are far too far for medical help to reach us swiftly in case of emergency. And since moving here four years ago, we’ve had a few of those.

My younger brother, a serial tree pruner, was recently poked in the eye by an unruly branch. Blind in one eye he was, and understandably concerned, but assuring him of my competence in ophthalmology I sprang into action, applying DMSO in a saline solution every few hours. Though I almost lost my nerve when he still couldn’t see the next morning, I continued the treatment until two days later he declared himself sighted once again.

Chalk one up to yours truly.

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the offending branch

When one of the dogs bit him accidentally, a small but deep cut, oozing and thankfully not spurting blood, I packed my brother’s wound with bentonite clay and applied pressure. Once the bleeding stopped I cleaned it with zeolite and distilled water, pulled it together with adhesive tape and bandaged it. After less than a week, with the help of Chlorine Dioxide, it healed up without a scar.

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My pharmacy

To this already impressive CV I can add clearing several impacted chicken crops plus regulating my 100kg brother’s wandering blood pressure with 300ml of fresh beetroot juice daily for 3 months.

Unfortunately, I haven’t had occasion to try out the CPR skills picked up in my youth watching numerous episodes of General Hospital, or to demonstrate the Heimlich Maneuver abilities I learned from my father who once saw it on The Late Late Show and delighted in showing us how it was done.

I've been waiting for someone to choke ever since.
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Posted in response to @galenkp's Weekend Experiences prompt asking 'Do you feel your first-aid skills are sufficient and acceptable for use in a medical emergency that may occur with a family member'

Photos are my own

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