They say that when you meet "The One" you will know. Your mind and body and your heart will feel it.
So...how does it feel like?
I used to fantasize that my love life would be like those in movies where the main character knows that they found one, you know, like it was a big realization or that magical feeling or that twinkle in their eyes as they gaze lovingly at each other. It would be followed up by romantic and sensual scenes with roses and candles in the bedroom. And it would continue on some adventures until the very end.
I've thought at a certain point in time in my life that I had bad taste in men, with the exception of this one man who changed my life for the better. This lovely man was named Richard. He was the person who changed my life for the better and showed me how I deserved to be loved.
Before meeting him, my goals were to be successful, rich, and travel the world. After being with him, he changed that perspective for me and changed how I viewed the world. I wanted to have a house, white picket fence, babies, and a dog with him. He was patient, kind, handsome, and came from a great family.
We started from a friendship before it blossomed into a relationship. We used to hang out with each other and just chat about what we were passionate about and the things that we were curious about. The more we chatted, the more we got closer. It came to a point that he started getting extra flirty with me. And then I saw it, that twinkle in his eye.
There were a few incidents that made me realize that he was going to be a special person in my heart.
When Richard and I started dating, my ex-boyfriend (who has a violent past) was trying to reach me out of the blue so I decided to block him. He was so upset that I blocked him and I felt that my safety was threatened. I didn't want to drag Richard into it and I didn't want him to get hurt physically because of my ex so I decided to end the relationship with him. I didn't want to do it but I felt I had to for his safety. Richard didn't want to let me go. He sped to my place in 15 minutes to tell me he didn't want to lose me and slept over to protect me.
Another time was when I was invited to attend Richard's work party together at an executive hotel and he asked me what I was going to wear. I told him that I was going to wear a black and red strapless dress. He asked my opinion on how to put his 3 piece suit together. A few moments later, he showed up at my door wearing a 3 piece black and red suit, to match me. We were surprised and in awe when we saw each other. We went to the party together where we ate delicious food and partied hard. While he was chatting with his bosses, the colleagues and I crashed another party that was happening downstairs and we laughed and partied hard. Oh it was fun times. After that, Richard found me and we shared a moment together. As we sat beside each other at the banquet table and held each other's hands, we gazed into each other's eyes and then touched our foreheads together and closed our eyes. It felt like the whole room disappeared. It was just him and I, in this space, in this moment in time. I don't know how long we shared that moment, but the concept of time didn't matter. WOW...we both never felt anything like that before. By the end of the night, we made it official with a night to remember.
Although that relationship has long ended and we've moved on our own separate paths, there were a lot of things that I've learned from that relationship. I learned that nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it. I learned what it felt like to be loved, protected, and cared for. I learned that it was important to help those in need no matter what status you are. I learned that sometimes people will leave you when you're down in the pits and magically appear when you've reached the top. I learned that it was important to put yourself in other people's shoes just to gain some perspective on things. I discovered the more nurturing side of me. Needless to say, I also realized, despite how bittersweet and heartbreaking it was, I was the wrong person at the wrong time.
It changed me and the trajectory of how I was going to live my life. My values changed and I began to understand what was important for me. I began to volunteer and make a difference in the community. I learned to be more empathetic and caring of others. I began to say yes to any opportunities that came my way. I began to have fun and tried many different things. I became known in the foodie influencer circuit as one of the OG Foodies in Vancouver.
However, I don't know what happened, but opening my soft and vulnerable heart made me susceptible to really shitty men. Has my taste gone off? Or was it me? I went through some really insecure men and a terrible man that was extremely toxic, manipulative, and abusive who held a criminal record (save that for another time). The tipping point was when I literally ran for my life away from the toxic ex regardless of how hard it was. Despite going through all that pain and suffering, at that point in time, I was going to start my life all over again. I was determined to heal my mind, body, and soul and help others along the way. I learned more about self-respect, self-love, self-worth, and my values. I had to break free from those patterns, self-limiting beliefs, and fears holding me back. My past hurts taught me valuable lessons about myself and allowed me to grow emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.
Life is quite a journey and sometimes you'll meet people and probably "The One" along the way.
I'm still off on this brave little adventure loving myself and loving my life. What's important is to put yourself before any one else, because if you don't take care of yourself, who will?
I'm my own BAE. xoxo
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P.S. I'd like to thank @trangbaby for supporting me in blogging more and encouraging me in sharing my stories and my experiences.