What is depression?.... (you wont find it looking up at the^ photo^)
...Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living.
According to .... The mayo clinic.
THE LUCYLIN CLINIC....
Depression isn't a weakness that you can simply "snap out" of .
But you could give it a go, to start off with - at least to see how it goes...
Depression may require long-term treatment.
This may include heavy doses of real life, and real life problems - but don't get discouraged about having to face up to real life – that will only make you depressed.
Most people with depression feel better with medication, psychotherapy or both.
Getting 'off yer tits' on narcotics won’t fix the depression as such, but it will make you forget all about it for a while.
Logically speaking, (and if you know have around 20 years to live) , why not stay in the state of being completely high off your nut for that period of time?
At least you could say that were not depressed . (how you would give this testimony, once dead, is currently a bit tricky).
Who knows, AI might be able to design an app where you can tweet from beyond the grave…
Psychotherapy will give you that much need space to navel gaze
….you know, the same thing that you've been doing for far too long, the very thing that may have majorly contributed to you having depression in the first place.
Although depression may occur only once during your life, its very doubtful.
Once you’re into that kind of thing, it can become quite the addictive hobby. (birdwatching is a much better choice).
Symptoms.
Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness.
...While these symptoms may be called ‘life’, other like to name it mental illness. Does this make life a mental illness?... NO… that’s called postmodernism.
Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters.
...While these symptoms may also be called ‘life’, people who really like labels - and whose income derives from having those labels with which to prescribe pharmaceuticals for, the ‘life’ definition doesn’t seem to hold as much validity nowadays.
Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports.
...These symptoms cannot be called ‘life’ and are indicators of something much deeper going on in your mind.
Before you call yourself a mental headcase, try to examine the things that no longer interest you.
Hobbies, for example.
What is really shit, boring hobby? It’s no wonder then, that you lost your interest in it, is it?
Is the loss of interest in sex a mental issue for you , or is it simply, that after 8 years of humping the same person, it’s now just become a tad boring? A little bit dull?
(pro tip from @lucylin…. if the lights are not going on after eight years - they never will be - so deal with it).
Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort.
This has a medical term, called ’decadence lazyarseness’.
This can be addressed by actually doing something - no matter how much you don’t want to. Not only that, getting off your lardy arse and moving, can actually cure your depression! …if you have actual depression.... Which is very doubtful.
Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain.
If you can’t be arsed going to the fridge and scoffing your face, see above medical condition .’decadence lazyarseness’.
...A little starvation here and there never really hurt anyone (less than two days is fine).
Statisitically speaking, and if you live in the west, you have a 74.6% chance of actually doing yourself big favor by not eating one day week. Also - See ’decadence lazyarseness’, above.
If your weight is at optimal levels, and you have a reduced – or little, appetite, the best thing to do is move your body.
While this may seem a radical choice to some, it's been scientifically proven that moving your body vigourelsy, and for sutained periods of time, will suddenly increase your appetite, and food will never have tasted better !
(ideally in a manual labor setting’- with doses of 8 hours with an hour break between)
...Not only that, but by adhering strictly to the above regimen, for at least 5 days week, and for between 20 and 30 years – you'll never have any eating issues, ever again!
Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
See the exercise tips above. These issues will just ‘evaporate', miraculously - after eight hours of hard work…. Funny, that.
Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements.
This tends to occurs with expended periods of navel gazing, and can be best addressed by opening the front door and entering the outside world.
If you have any neighbors with a really nasty dog, why not jump into the garden?
Nature, adrenaline, and a very pissed of Rottweiler, will more than fix your lethargy issues.
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
These symptoms are serious indicators for real depression - yes - it does exist.
.... it’s just that for every 100 people diagnosed with depression - 99 of them are suffering from ’decadence lazyarseness’.
The one very serious case, who has a serious medical condition, unfortunately gets lumped in with the rest.
...Maybe hire a hooker once a week to sit there and tell you how great you are would do the trick ? (no pun intended).
This strategy also has the added bonus of being able to address those libido problems at the same time.
….Or if the feelings of guilt are too much to bear, why not hire a hooker that’s into giving you some corporal punishment?
Let her beat the living shit out of you, and with it, the guilt and shame.
A weekly dose of this medicine has been proven to greatly ease depression in the rich, famous, and powerful.
Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things.
..I'll get back to you on this one, I've forgotten all about what it was that I was gonna say…
Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
If you get these thoughts and you are not in a war zone (or Glasgow) then it could indicate depression. …Or boredom.
Being bored is depressing, but not being bored can take effort sometimes.
Why not get off yer lardy , bored, arse - and jump into that garden with the rottweiler?
You wont be bored for very long, I can guarantee it.
And if you trip, maybe it’s karma letting you know that suicide was a viable option, after all.
A recent scientific study involving over 320,000 suicide victims, said there has yet to be one documented case of regret ever being mentioned.
Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches.
These symptoms can have a multitude of causes, not necessarily depression.
If you find that you only get out of your computer chair to go to the toilet five time a day, you may find that the physical pain you're feeling , may be more due to your body giving up on any will to continue living. (rather than depression, per se).
If you body is suicidal - due to boredom - but your mind isn’t, then the best way to fix this is move your fucking lazy arse.
For many people with depression, symptoms usually are so severe to cause noticeable problems in day-to-day activities, such as work, school, social activities or relationships with others.
For those NOT suffering from depression, but the much more common ‘snowflake navel gazing syndrome’ , it’s recommended that you lift your head up, and try opening your eyes, taking in the outside world.
It's far more interesting than looking at the lint in your belly button, trust me.
(unless you're Angelina Jolie from 20 years ago - in which case I'd say ‘why the hell are you NOT navel gazing all day’? - Are you friggin' nuts?).
Some people may feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why.
This can be due to just being dumb as a bag of rocks, but far more commonly, it because of diet.
If you are as dumb as bag of rocks, listen up – You are what you eat. Eat shit, and every thought you have will be shit.
If you're NOT as dumb as bag of rocks and not eating the best possible food possible (at least 50% of your disposable income), then you have , indeed, just proven to yourself , to be as dumb as the dude who already knows that they're as dumb as a bag of rocks.
You are what you eat – VERY literally.
Eat brilliantly for three months – No shite at all....and see how your mental cognition, mood, and general outlook on life changes.
While it may be as simple as that to fix this problem, - there's is a multi billion dollar, big pharma industry, that will tell you differently.
This big pharma perspective has NOTHING to do with them wanting to make vast profits of you being perpetually unhealthy.
Depression symptoms in older adults..
Depression is a normal part of growing older – you’re going to fucking die !... Of course that’s gonna be depressing.
(see the above strategy of being 'as high as a kite' for the last few decades of you life. Problem solved.)
...If you’re feeling depressed, make an appointment to see your doctor or mental health professional as soon as you can.
It won’t cheer you up any, but it does give them the opportunity to make their wages up by issuing prescriptions.
If you think that you may hurt yourself or attempt suicide, call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Be very careful of the sharp edges on your phone buttons when calling them – you don’t wanna go and a cut yourself, and then bleed to death while waiting for them – emergency call outs are expensive and you wouldn’t want to have wasted their time, now would you
That could lead to depression.
If you're having any suicidal thoughts, consider this question...…
....VERY carefully...
How do I buy POB (@proofofbrain) tokens?
It may not help you much, but if you do buy some, and then 'top yourself' - at least you’ll have something to leave someone._(make sure you leave your crypto keys in your will though – then it’s a win win and that'll be something to really cheer you up! )
Note: No people with a sense of humor were hurt during the making of this post...(can't vouch for the rest).