I spoke with a friend yesterday, and he was telling me about his "work problems." Obviously, he has been working hard to get a promotion that will increase his "take-home" and, of course, improve his standard of living, which means he will be able to set more goals, start a family, and have children. All of these plans would only work if he was promoted; however, he has tried and used everything he believes he has in his arsenal, and it has still not worked.
So, rather than directly motivating him to stay positive or do better, I began to tell him about my own problem. At the age of 30, I was orphaned and had lost all of my nuclear family members. Because of illnesses, I missed numerous opportunities to work in positions that would have helped me improve my financial situation. If the Nigerian economy was actually functioning well, I could have applied for what we call disability in the United States. Multiple chronic illnesses and diagnoses, as well as living alone with no one to care for me, made it seem like every effort I made was in vain.
When I still had a family, I did not give my condition much thought, but losing them all sent me into a tailspin. So it did not really matter if I was broke or not. People are difficult to motivate when told to stay positive and do better. When you say this to them, you are underestimating the battles they have fought and the energy they have expended. It is critical to tell them they have done well to get this far, to applaud their efforts, and to finally show them that they are better off.
I was attempting to tell my friend that he was in a far better situation than I was, without undermining his situation. He had money problems, and they were obviously affecting him. He had failed in numerous trials and had begun to wonder if he was cut out for life. He had a mother to support, as well as numerous bills to pay; these bills would not pay themselves, and his inability to do so began to eat away at him. He told me he tried drinking (which he had never done before), but I was relieved he did not mention suicide.
Nobody deserves to be in this mental state. I told him that he was not beyond redemption and that he had plenty of time to overcome his obstacles. He was younger and healthier, which meant he had plenty of time to be fortunate if things started to work.
I told him he had to keep going, but he was not a failure, and he needed to hear my side of the story to understand that he was not alone and that I was even going through a crazy depressive episode.
One of the most depressing aspects of life is not having anything to motivate you. I used to believe that if I had enough money, a good wife, and a nice family, it would be enough to keep me going, but now I am not sure that having any of these things will change my mental state.
I had lost far too much in less than three years, and sometimes the things that motivate us to keep going are the things we do not appreciate until they are no longer there. We do not always pay attention to how difficult life is; it is not because life is not difficult; it is just that we have distractions that keep us tethered. There are some things we choose to ignore, and it is not because they do not exist; we simply choose to ignore them for a variety of reasons.
I knew there were times when life was difficult for me.
Looking back, I must have overestimated my strength. The truth is that I was not the one who motivated myself to keep going. Back then, I had strong motivating factors, but I somehow underestimated the support system.
The world is a lot weirder.
The problems we face today are more serious than they were previously. When I was in my early 20s, the world seemed simpler. This is not to say that there was not enough hardship. Hardships existed, but the world was better designed to assist people in dealing with their mental stress and problems. The advancement of technology has made it easier for depression to thrive. You stay on the phone and ask people how they are because you know the only option they have is to respond with "fine."
It is messed up, and sometimes we only realize this when we take a break from the rat race of life and start reflecting from the beginning. I saw someone post a poll asking people whether they would take ten million dollars or go back in time to correct their mistakes. Of course, many people opted to go back in time. Money is useful, but it cannot fix a messed-up life or a deteriorating mental state. Everyone requires a motivator, something deeper, more rigid, and, of course, very solid.
Interested in some more of my works
Is it Easy To Make Money?
Nigeria: A Unique Business Market & Industry
Virtual Bank Apps In Nigeria: An Experience Of Gamification
How To Find The Next "BIG" Meme Coin
Personal Finance: Achieving Intentional "Saving" Goals
Playing The Survival Game: Human Nature In Introspection
"Un-PAYING" The Debt You Owe
