Hive Permabulls: Lord Kazzak Must DIE!!!1

supremelordkazzak.jpg

This is Doom Lord Kazzak

Supreme field commander of the Burning Legion.

Prepare for your doom, mortals!

Anyone who played vanilla World of Warcraft back in the day probably remembers this guy. He was one of the first world bosses that you could kill... as long has you had a raiding party of 40 people... Can you imagine it? Organizing 40 people and hoping they don't fuck up? Man, those were the days.

World of Warcraft patch 1.3 date:

March 24, 2005...
Crazy.
Initial launch: November 23, 2004
Blast from the past.

kazzaklegionwowlord.jpg

World bosses were different than other bosses, in that they were not "instanced". Usually when you formed your raiding party of 40 people you'd enter whatever dungeon and the server would create your own instance of that dungeon. This allowed hundreds/thousands of people on the same server to raid the same dungeon at the same time.

With world bosses, there was no instance. If you noticed a world boss had spawned (random timer between 1 and 5 days) you sounded the alarm at your guild so they could squad up the minute men to get the kill before the rest of the server had a chance to regroup. The first person to "tag" the boss with an attack would claim the bosses phat lootz for their raid party. Anyone not eligible to receive said phat lootz would see the border of the mob turn gray... too bad, so sad... better hope that raiding party dies like noobs.

kazzakshadowbolt.jpg

Lord Kazzak initially had especially fucked up combat mechanics. Not only was he out of the middle of nowhere and you had to mount up and run your ass into the cuts to get to him, but also he shot out these shadowbolts (shown above) that would hit everyone within an absolutely gigantic radius. He did a lot of AOE damage to everyone in the group, making it hard for healers to keep people from dying sometimes.

I haven't even mentioned the worst part.

If you died to Lord Kazzak, he would heal...

link to tactics

Capture Soul

When a player, pet or totem gets killed, Lord Kazzak casts this spell to instantly regenerate 70,000 health.

Even worse...

Lord Kazzak becomes enraged after three minutes, at which time he will cast the AOE shadowbolt spell every second, which is going to kill everyone pretty much immediately... you lose.

So because this guy is outside and everyone on the server wanted a piece of him, you could instruct your raiding party to die on purpose if you didn't get the tag, and thus were not eligible to receive phat lootz. This would cause Kazzak to heal, making it much harder for the other raiding party to get the kill within 3 minutes. Once they were all dead, you could try to move in and hope they didn't have time to do the same to you... or if your group was strong enough it didn't matter if they tried to pull that exploit.

Lork Kazzak's battle mechanics were so broken, that eventually trolls figured out that you could train him into the enemy city (Horde vs Alliance) and he would just...

kazzakworldofwarcraftstormwindcityraid.png

https://jspringer1.wordpress.com/2014/02/04/kazzak-does-stormwind/

Perhaps one of the most glaring bugs ever encountered in World of Warcraft, Doomlord Kazzak’s visit to Stormwind shocked the warcraft community. Kited by a horde raid from the distant Blasted Lands, Kazzak proved an invincible foe–a bug rendered what little defense the alliance could muster utterly useless. But most important to the large-scale alliance slaughter that occurred was his deadly AOE shadow bolt ability, which had proven itself to be the bane of many raids in the past. The shadow bolt volley ignored line of sight limitations and did approximately 1500-2800 damage per hit. In a time in which a level 60 tank had at best slightly over 10000 hp, these shadow bolts proved to be instant death for many players and left the Stormwind streets ridden with bodies.

Haha, get fucked Alliance. For the Horde!

Yeah so basically once you trained him to Stormwind he would just kill everyone in the main city for hours until a GM came in and fixed the issue. Hilarious stuff.

Interestingly enough, this was done on the @deathwing server and broadcasted as a viral video... that obviously spawned a wave of copycats.

When asked for comment, Blizzard officials had this to say:

Working as intended.

Maybe one of my readers will understand that joke. Worth.


What is the point of this story?

Well, back during those days I had a raid leader. And this guy was intense.... You know... it's been so long I don't even remember his name (in game or otherwise) but I'll always remember his intensity and some of the things he said.

After wiping a few times on Lord Kazzak... being in competition with another Horde guild as we sabotaged each-other's tags on the boss... he said:

I AM NOT LEAVING... I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, BUT I DON'T CARE! I WILL SHIT IN MY CHAIR BEFORE I LET THESE GUYS WIN!

starcriticalmasscelestial.jpeg

It's like... comical but somehow inspiring at the same time.
I really can't even describe it.

And sometimes when I look around on Hive... especially now during these blood-in-the-streets moments... I get the same feeling as I did back then.

It might not be worth all the trouble... we could have made more money on another network... maybe the overhead cost is just too high and we should quit... but we just won't quit. This is happening, and we would sooner shit in our chairs than let Hive die an unceremonious death. The list of permabulls is short for Hive... but we are out there:

List of Hive Permabulls:

Surely... there are more out there and feel free to list them below, but no matter what, some people are going to be permabullish on Hive, regardless of what the price-action scoreboard says.

That's Just How It Is.

This is happening, one way or another.
There is no other option.

23 Comments