I was just as surprised as you are—"surprise!" The last email I expected to receive in my inbox was from a pair of wealthy businessmen from San Diego, California. 'You sure it's me you're looking for? DanDays, D-a-n-d-a-y-s?
I ran this piece by a few friends outside this virtual circle before posting it on the blockchain. Still uncertain about it. Feedback said "absolutely" (plus some other stuff). The more I thought about it, the more I recognize if it wasn't for each of you who consume my content as well as this platform, the only one I release content on, I never would've been propositioned in the first place. Warning: A 1,083 word publication about "credit" is headed your way in a minute so I'll try to keep this introduction short.
I was approached by a company called TradelineSupply dot com (I'll link their website momentarily) about seven weeks ago. We went back and forth for a week. I researched their company and got a general idea of their business model. Summary—they offer people with terrible credit a loop hole called "authorized user" which instantly boosts their poor credit score (Fico score) as high as 100 points. I told them we wouldn't be a good fit, 'you have me mistaken for someone else.' Their opinion and beliefs pertaining to credit and Fico scores to which they designed their business model around and my opinion in respect to the same subject have zero in common.
I was commissioned to write about "credit." I was told they enjoy my personality and especially my "provocative humor." "Just bring your authenticity," they said. Blow a buncha smoke up my ass, they did. I didn't understand how my perception of "credit" would benefit them and, rather than promote boosting credit scores per se, I'd use the opportunity to educate their followers on the history of credit and how the shit's a spiraling out of control perversion.
Pura and I talked about it, I slept on a couple days, did some more research, 'I have nothing to lose.' I thought about it for a week, even reached out to @edprivat and @thebigsweed to get their opinion. I had no idea they were that supportive of me. 'Thanks fellas!' So I accepted the challenge.
Criteria: Minimum 1,000 words about "credit."
Use three images: Two copyright free and one of their business logo.
Due date: 7 days.
Commission: USD $500 (50 cents/word).
1,000 words in 7 days?? No problem
Before you get too excited, it's unlikely I'll see anything else from them. It went over about as smooth as I thought. Their business and myself, without altering my approach to "credit", I assumed would never work but five hundred bucks is five hundred bucks.
Nothing to lose. Following this email screenshot (the last I heard from them) is the article I submitted to TradelineSupply dot com only to be rejected two days later.
Go Fico Yourself❗️
Being the new virtual stranger on the block presents a host of challenges. Tough to jump up and down with both hands frantically grasping at nothing as though under intense shock therapy from behind the comfort of an illuminated device and expect to capture audience attention. That's an old trick anyway—everyone knows you can't teach old tricks to new dogs. Think BIGGER.
Some (((cræzy))) shit like scream from the top of the keyboard or drop two shits in the opening sentence of the second paragraph. Hashtag no hard feelings if you don't like the way I think.
'Have I got a deal for you!' Two for the price of one! Buy one get two free! Buy one at regular price - receive 1/2 off second purchase of equal or lesser value! Insert your favorite marketing pitch here: ___________. The one that grants me your trust otherwise this relationship won't work.
Like banking except the exact opposite
They have Trust incorporated into one of their financial models (bet you never looked that up). Don't worry, it's a one size fits all indoctrination system, we're strategically bred to accept shit at face value, watch: 'I have green shoe laces'.
Truth is, you don't trust them. You may have yourself convinced you do based on acronyms such as FDIC and they don't trust you either. If they did, you wouldn't be required to sign over your wealth on a carbon copy deposit slip as evidence with a shitty ball point pen chained to the counter. But you do it anyway.
They're banking on it
I got a lot to say about the subject, credit, that's not a marketing pitch. Like anything else, these things take time. First there's an idea ("reserve"). Next is execution ("federal"). Lastly, acceptance ("notes").
"Consistency." Original brand name: Continental. Senior economics left that out. Time constraints prevent history of fiat due to classroom budgets and the science of checkbook balancing. Continental, fiat, money, coin, change, mula, dough, cash, c-notes, toilet paper—same consistency.
There's a lot to cover in this blog. Tough to address anything credit without at least introducing John Law—17th century Scottish card player turned first centralized banker of France. Eventually the wealthy ran him out, separated him from his family never to be seen again for their own safety before dying alone in England—only country offering refuge. Euro, GBP, USD, credit, he pioneered that stuff.
Sharing this corner of my mind without being transparent regarding my understanding of credit and the perverse use of it makes about as much sense as lathering flesh with a lotiony substance having never asked wtf's in it.
Unrealistic to dig into credit without mentioning another acronym: IRS. Government, gangsterest mob in the history of gangsters and mobs, them.
1099, W-4, oxymorons such as tax rebate and other household catch phrases didn't happen overnight, more like last week. A little over 200 years ago the IRS made their debut only after secretly defying the US Government who publicly accused a pair of wealthy businessmen of shady deals which eventually proved true leading to the now lawful way of existence.
I don't expect to change your mind, that isn't why I'm here, this is just an introduction. I gave that up a long time ago—miIinNnd changing. But there's something new today, something I don't have to explain in chronological order to prove I'm concerned about today's perverted interpretation of the word credit. Today there's an option to combat acronyms responsible for last week's algorithm.
Two can play that game
Algorithms are essentially an equation. I found a legal way to enhance that equation. Credit has developed into countless schemes today such as, but not limited to, coupons, gift cards, group plans, leasing, bundles, and many more we'll dissect in time. I'm inspired to share what I think because I found a company whose business model was founded on adjusting your algorithm—go Fico yourself!
Why not? It's not like there's someone down there at the local Fico office making appointments to update each consumers personality characteristics based on human behavior. There is no Fico office. Each credit bureau has their typical chain of command, sure, but there's no single individual on the other end of the line at an office that doesn't exist who's willing to adjust your Fico score. It's an algorithm. Spoiler alert—you're no longer holding the phone by yourself.
I'm not a computer programmed to monitor you relentlessly. I'm here to make you aware of a less known catch-phrase: Authorized User.
Energy isn't operational at the apartment you just leased without running your credit. That leaves a mark—negative impact. The apartment leasing agency ran your credit and left another negative impact. You can't even purchase an automobile from a certified automobile dealer in the United States with Continentals (cash, fiat, paper money, etc) without first notifying the IRS the origin of those Federal Reserve Notes as well as running a credit check—another negative impact. Even a basic credit inquiry remains in your history folder for two years.
An authorized user is someone who doesn't physically possess the credit card, they're simply an authorized user of a pre-existing, respectable credit card account. Cash purchases, home leases, medical coverage, they're all negative impacts toward your Fico score and they continue building against you until finally falling off your credit some years later. By then you've been defeated by who knows how many credit inquiries who didn't respect your Fico score at the time.
Algorithm fine tuning as I like to call it is achievable in as little as a few weeks by becoming an authorized user on a pre existing account. The more you're authorized, the higher amount of authorizations you have, the better you look on paper—welcome! You're just around the corner from achieving a reputable Fico score controllable at your fingertips, congratulations!
Be wise, make sound decisions, practice using your new Fico score to the best of your ability. Use it to your advantage. In the event you do more harm to yourself than good, try harder next time and stop back by TradeLineSupply.com for another tune up.