I came across a post during the weekend - quite specifically on Sunday, about Inspiration. Now, for the longest time I have tried to settle with the fact that my inherent talent was borne out of a desire to put myself out there, in the world. To be known for something because I hadn't really excelled in much of anything. Which, for the most part, was down to my indecisiveness: like trying to venture in one thing when I haven't fully mastered the other. However, after having combed within myself, Writing was what brought me the most euphoria, so to speak... I realised a certain affinity to the Art of Writing. Although, It felt mostly like a growing Impression at the time, but somehow I found myself Inadvertently seeking more.
It meant that I had to rethink certain aspects, especially, how I felt about it. Like when you once realise that you want something so bad that you kind of get lost doing it. That was the exact feeling. Sounds familiar, no? At some point, I started to question them, and doubt crept in with every passing occasion that that happened. "Was it for pleasure?", "Was it to find relevance?" or perhaps, "...was I not good enough to become what I aspired to be?". Maybe, I got scared of a future I didn't have business caring about, except for the present.
Does perfection have anything to do with it?
I do my writing with my Phone's notepad, and sometimes I get this compelling need to make my work completely perfect. Now, perfectionism is something I constantly fight. Maybe the lot of us still do. So, when I do not live up to that expectation, I retire myself to thinking "oh. I'm not that great afterall!". I mean most people say that to be a creative, or to be an author, you have to write every day. I battled with that for a long time. Weirdly enough, it sort of barred me. I limited myself and, tragically I reckoned that perhaps there was never a thing here. It is not about creating a masterpiece instantly. It's about creating something meaningful in the long run, and knowing that sort of removes that pressure.
Through Burns and Narrow trails
Now, don't get me wrong... I'm all for writing. I have found my bread and butter, that which I am good at, of which I am convinced about. But, being a creative doesn't mean we burn out ourselves day in, day out trying non-stop to force out something that, quite frankly, isn't meant to be forced. To put it in another way, I didn't always have to write everyday. There are days when all that needs to be done is to relax those weary thumbs and heated heads. Refill the batteries and just be. That pretty much would start transitioning into something precious for myself.
I am passionate about writing. It lives and thrives from me into my breathing world. Just like @rks.wuhdrelis said, "Writing is being devoured whole like a famished paper". Quite poetic if you think about it. Indeed, to write is as boundless as Ambitions. And I truly, truly resonate with that. This is my Muse!
Thank you for reading.
Vincecharlieā
