If we divide my not-so-long life into three stages, then in the first of them, let's call it childhood and youth, I was convinced that in the world there are absolutely separate evil and good, and good always wins over evil. The evil for me at different times was the neighbor's one-eyed cat Frosya and the history teacher Maria Ivanovna, and the absolute evil was Hitler. I undoubtedly considered my mother and my native party with the Komsomol to be good, and I considered my beloved grandmother to be absolutely good...As I grew older, I began to realize that there was no particular division between good and evil, and that these two feelings were very easy to get along with in one person, even in me. In some, this floating state is more likely to splash out evil, and someone on the contrary is washed up on the shores of good, and everyone is comfortable with it. Yes, and the good has somehow ceased to figure around me as a permanent winner, increasingly giving the palm to its rival. It was quite a long stage of my life and I would probably be happy if it lasted for the rest of it.You can get used to this and at first glance distinguish in which person which half prevails. Of course, this is not comfortable, but it does not cause much concern, because you are already at the age when you can afford to surround yourself with exactly those people who do not cause you rejection, only sometimes and briefly encountering yourself unsuitable, realizing that this is inevitable.
But in recent years, there has been a bitter and sad feeling that not only is there no separate good and evil, but there is no mixing of them, there is only evil, and good is either a perverted form of this evil, or simply a defect of its existence.It's like a dead machine in a neighbor's apartment, where there is always an endless repair and suddenly there is silence, peace and bliss for a while, but after a short period of time everything comes back to normal and the repair resumes. So is the good-it will flare up for a while nearby and somehow quickly then fades away.At first I tried not to notice it, hoping that it was just such an unfortunate period of my life, but then I began to think about it, even tried to analyze, remember some clever thoughts of the great people of this world and even popular sayings, and gradually came to the conclusion that it was always so, just because of his age, a person does not immediately realize it, always hoping for the best!
Think about it, from time immemorial it was said that evil always returns evil and no good it never returns, but what about the good? Read these popular wisdom: good should be with fists (i.e. evil) and no good deed goes unpunished, i.e. returns evil. And have you not noticed that the most cruel and evil are children, i.e. people in their initial existence.And how many people at the expense of kindness have reached some heights in creativity or in business? Rather, they are exceptions to the rule.
In short, I dumped all this on you, and you already clear up my rubble, evil me...