Life Before Motherhood: The Thing I Miss The Most... || Mom Life

Here is the thing I love my baby to death I can’t think what life would be without him in it, I really feel if something were to happen to him I couldn’t possible live much longer, but…. I can’t help but miss my old life too. I know I’m supposed to enjoy every moment of motherhood and I mean I did get myself into this by my own willing, but...

Before motherhood, feels like another life time, like so much has change now, I was a different person then than what I am now, and all the things I could have done before and can not longer do, is a list that gets bigger by the day. this is not a bad thing but, those feelings are there in the back of my head and i think in the back of every mom´s head too.

Being a Mom has become my first and more important rol, it sometimes feels like the only thing I am now is being a mom.

I could do simple things like taking a shower, have a nap, and eat a full meal uninterrupted and most importantly I didn’t had any other responsibility but to take care of myself. That is the thing I miss the most…

The lack of responsibility for another human life

When you become a mom, you’ve got to keep this little person alive, like from the second you get it in your arms there is nothing else more important than taking care of the fragile little human.

It doesn’t matter if you do have help and can take some time for yourself, in the back of your mind now there is always the thought of your kid, you cannot longer afford to make food whenever you want to or not eat all day if you feel too lazy to cook, you cannot longer wake up at the time you want cause there is nothing to do all day, you cannot say I don’t have even 1 dollar in my bank account to pay for nothing, you cannot longer think only on you or how things affect only you, now you have this other live that depends on you and your decision making.

Before motherhood, I used to just live in the moment, didn’t had any other worries than to buy myself the stuff I wanted, didn’t had any other responsibility but to take care of myself and since I was a grown woman with a career and a job well… it wasn’t that difficult, when I made the decision to switch jobs and endup not liking the new one that much I just went unemployed for a little over a year, why? Cause I wanted to find the right job, one that I love and provided me with the salary I thought I deserved, I manage to pull this up cause if I didn’t had money to eat on a day it didn’t matter it was me who was going to get hungry.

Now I have this child I need to supply all his needs to, I need to make sure I have enough food, enough medicines just in case he needs them one day and even an emergency fund to have him cover if ever need it, not to mention all the other things, like wake up early to change and feed him, clean the house so he can have a clean play space, cook on a schedule so he can eat when he get hungry, etc.

I miss the life before but… I wouldn’t go back even if I get paid

Having my child is the most amazing thing that has ever happen in my life, and even tho it did change my life completely it change it for the better, and this little compromises I have to do like giving up the free of Responsibilities life I used to have is worth it and I have no regrets at all.

All I have to do is look into his eyes or see his smile and my life takes meaning, I don’t care that I don’t have time for myself or that I have to find more jobs than hours has the day to be able to provide for him. I feel full and happy just knowing he is alive and he is mine.

Also not going to lie, I imagine that the day will come when he is old enough to find himself a job and doesn’t needs me to take care of him anymore and I cant way for that day to come! But at the same time I know it will be bittersweet a struggle between being happy for gaining back my old life back to and not longer be the one person my kid needs the most.

Don’t feel guilty for taking time for yourself and express your feelings is important to let them out, if you need to so, you don’t go full on crazy later. These feelings are normal and all mothers have them. You can miss your old life and don’t need to feel bad about it.

As always, would love to read about your own experience on this, so please leave a comment or better yet, make a post in The Motherhood Community.