So!! here I am, thinking really hard, hoping that the Goddess of jokes, comedy, and laughter will shine her hilarious torch of a thousand lolz on me, and inspire me to remember a hilarious story of mine, one that will make people cry with laughter, so here I am 30 minutes, an hour, no luck. Since the goddess won't be showing up, I took matters into my very own hand. I decided to search for inspiration in hilarious posts in @comedyopenmic. I did find one that hilariously inspired me and that was a story by @nkemakonam89 which was about her emotional rollercoaster with snakes right. Snakes that she never actually saw (at least not in reality*), personally, it was so hilarious, I am going to narrate it to you in my own words with a bit of exaggerated humor. Even Nkem will enjoy this *
So lets have it
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Have you ever, even for once been to a church program where people testify about the goodness of God in their lives, but all you hear is stories about snakes? Well, that's what happened to poor Nkem. She was just minding her own business, enjoying the program when the first testifier got up and started talking about how she and her family narrowly escaped a snake attack. Nkem was immediately gripped with fear, imagining a snake lurking in her own room with no escape route in sight uhm uhm!.
But that was just the very tiny-tip of the iceberg, more was in store. The second testifier also talked about a snake that had tried to bite her child, and the third testifier had a story about a python hiding in her children's clothes. By this point, poor Nkem was about to wet herself (Thank Goddness she didn't), she was so terrified. She couldn't believe that all these people had encountered snakes, and all on the same day!
Nkem was so uncomfortable that she just wanted to leave, but she stuck it out until the end. When she finally arrived home, she was extra careful about what she stepped on so much that it took her twice as long to get wherever she was going, I mean after all that fully-charged-snake-story, you wouldn't want to make the terrible mistake of stepping on a snake right? especially the tail of the snake ... let's continue with Nkem story. So now the realest of nightmares began when she went to bed that night. She dreamt that a big snake was chasing her, (probably the snake was even saying, with a hissing voice"come here Nkem, I gonna eat you") and she woke up in a cold sweat thanking fairy godmother that it was just a dream.
The next morning, Nkem was still feeling jumpy. She was getting her kids ready for school as a good mother should do when the school bus honked its horn. She hastily helped herself to the corridor, lunch bags in hand, when she saw something that made her heart skip a beat. It was a long belt lying lazily in a zigzag pattern on the floor, and for a moment, Nkem thought it was a snake. She screamed in fear!!!! and jumped back (well thank God she didn't faint like some scenes in the movies), tripping over her own feet and landing hard on the ground.
To make matters worse, the lunch bags went flying and their contents splattered all over Nkem's face and clothes. She was covered in tomato stew and water, and she felt like a complete idiot. She knew that everyone would be talking about her embarrassing fall for weeks to come, even her lovely children, Wait till they tell Daddy lolz!.
Needless to say, Nkem was traumatized by the whole experience. She didn't want to go back to the church program again, not if it meant hearing more snake stories. In fact, probably she must have become so paranoid at those moments that she started seeing snakes everywhere she went. If she saw a piece of innocent rope lying on the ground, she thought it was a snake (poor rope, as if being a rope wasnt bad enough) . If she saw a piece of harmless stick poking out of the grass, she thought it was a snake. Even her own shadow made her jump sometimes, lolz I can only imagine...
But hey!!!, at least she could laugh about it now, right? well, she made a hilarious post about it , so we cool. After all, what's actually funnier than a grown woman tripping over her own feet and getting covered in lunch bags in front of her own kids right? I dont want to imagine the looks on the kids face
But that aside, I know Nkem is a Strong, Independent Woman and a wonderful mother with amazing kids that also love her
PS: I hope Nkem doesn't crucify me for narrating her story and adding a bit of exaggerated humor , well at least we all get to laugh and forget our worry which could be the worry of a large, enormous snake chasing you in the dream and you wonder, what if it actually comes to devour me in reality, reality can sometimes be cruel you know, but rest assured, it won't.
Like they say "Laughter is the best medicine" so keep laughing.
This is my second entry for the @comedyopenmic contest A.K.A COMtest, You can also participate [here] and share your hilarious story with us and yes there are rewards to be won.
*smiles *