Greetings comic people.
This morning, I stumbled on a skit that took me back to the lanes of memories...
It was during those days while I was at home, just finished secondary school and seeking for admission into higher institution. The process to get admission in our schools was(and still) very fierce unless you want to succumb to bribery, which I've never been a fan of. I don't want to miss heaven by any chance because I've heard from people that died, went to heaven and returned back to earth say that, bribery, no matter its format, is a free ticket to hell.
There was this girl, Chioma by name but I like calling her "Chiiii"(with many iiii). Ever since she told that she likes the way I call her Chiiii, I took it as mandatory responsibility to call her that always, so as to score high marks in the competition between I and the rich boys competing to win her heart.
"Chiii, I love you with the whole of my system, I love you with my blood. Can't you see?" I repeated my normal line to her when I saw her in our street on a Friday's afternoon.
"Awwwwwn, you and this line gain. Hmmmmm. I've told you to give me chance to think about it. I don't want to rush into relationship again" she responded with her usual line which I was used to already.
As she was about to walk away, she paused and gave me an invitation card of their church program to be held that Friday night.
I assured her that I would come and we dismissed.
I'm not the type that attends other people's church no matter how interesting the program is, but because it's from Chiii and I wanted to win her heart by all means, I agreed to attend the church event.
I got home that afternoon and the real spirit of double-mindedness stepped in. All my interest to attend the church program varnished especially due to how their church is the 'cast and bind' oriented. I didn't want them to cast away the only addiction, football, I was enjoying. If they cast it away, I'll be totally lonely in this world.
But the thought of winning her heart conquered the previous and I prepared instantly and made my way to the church around 9pm.
I was quite late when I got there, I met them at the moment when the heat of the service was massive, everyone was standing, shaking, vibrating and praying in loud voices.
I didn't sit at the back, no, I wanted my presence to be noticed by her, so I walked to the fore front and sat at the front role.
I saw her, she's was in the choir stand and immediately our eyes clashed, we gave out a romantic smile, the type that would make the angels in the building to authenticate our upcoming relationship.
"Ragagatuurobokuku!" The Pastor suddenly paused his intensed speaking in tongues, pulled off his jacket and flung it away and the ushers dived like Jet-Li to catch it.
"It's Holy ghost time!" He screamed aloud and the congregation went off into jubilation.
He called out all the chorister, they walked out from the corner to the open space close to the pulpit and he began to lay his hand on their heads one after the other, some of them fell to the "Holy Ghost" anointing with demonic dancing and staggering while some didn't react at all. Maybe the ones that didn't react were the righteous ones among them... just maybe.
I was watching the scene like a movie, patiently waiting for Chioma's turn to see if she'll fall to the 'anointing' or not.
Suddenly, it got to her turn and as soon as the pastor laid his hand on her head, chioma staggered off, began to rotate in a circle, giving us the kind of dance from the Marine world...as we see in Nollywood movies.
My eyes opened widely watching my future girlfriend manifesting signs and wonder.
"Leave her! leave her!" The pastor ordered the ushers that were holding her from scattering all the plastic chairs in the hall.
The ushers left her and boom! She began to gyrate like a possessed prophetess. Everyone of stayed focused on the movie the Pastor and Chioma were entertaining us with.
"Stop it now!" The pastor spank her on the shoulder very hard and she fell flat on the ground and remained temporary dead.
As for me, I was in total awe and couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing.
You should know how the story ended,,, whether I still furthered with my quest to date her, a possessed lady or I ended my quest on the spot.
By the way, is it only me that think that anyone dancing or reacting to the touch of a clergy is possessed?
Thanks for reading 🙌