The comedy rumble (Poverty is a disease)

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I'm tired of how things are getting worst in this country. I couldn't sleep over the night. I was awake all through thinking about the worst economy of our nation and how it has affected the people negatively. You see, it's not that I didn't want to sleep, but it has come to the stage where we need to pay to feel sleepy. That's how bad it is. And since I had no dime, I had to open my eyes wide like thief man torch till daybreak. The only thing that made us differentiate the day from night is the brightness and the darkness because people that couldn't afford to pay to feel sleepy are everywhere over the night trying to get some dosh for survival

As a religious young guy, I thought within myself. "Instead of walking around when others that could afford to sleep are on their bed snoring, I could utilize the opportunity and turn it into vigil", so I went to a church around 1 AM to pray for a financial breakthrough

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While at the entrance of the church, I heard someone praying heavily. My heart rejoiced and I opted to join him in prayer. But when I moved closer and heard the prayer points, I stood on a spot, wondering what this country has turned everyone into. This is a serious case. Poverty breeds gradual madness

The pastor was parading on the alter cabashing on a bet9ja ticket, sweating as if he was returning from a million laps of marathon. He was also quoting bible verses. Timothy chapter 14:12-13, Samson bet with the philistine and won. This game must come. Seeing this, I rushed to check the ticket to see if I could copy the code and play it with the last #100 on me. I thought, "this is a holy ghost ticket", and the chance of success is 100%. Poverty has made me lose my sense of humor

When I saw the list of clubs the pastor selected to win, I instantly regained my sanity

Home teamAway teamWinnerOdd
Real Madrid vsKano pillarsAway team win 7-1100
Liverpool vsOldham athleticAway team win 5 - 075
Manchester City vsEnyimba of AbaAway team wins 8 - 2120
Arsenal vsIfeanyi UbaAway team win 7 - 298
Total odd88,200,000
Stake#100
Potential winning#82,000,000,000
I don't know the kind of spirit that rests on him. Kano pillars to beat real Madrid at home 7 - 1. Ha! This one weak me. Before the pastor's spirit would enter me, I quickly talked to my legs to take me out. I located another church nearby and entered. Luckily, they were holding a vigil. All I was thinking in my heart was poverty

Then I heard the pastor saying "Oya everybody, the lord is about to do something wonderful in your life today. Oya face your neighbor and say "It shall be permanent. Whatever you are thinking in your heart shall be permanent". Then the lady beside me faced me, but before she could utter the "It shall be permanent" I doge my head and found my way out. This will not work. I was thinking of poverty and the prayer point was "It shall be permanent". I think I've seen enough

It was already 5 AM, and everybody was already going about their activities. Since I had nowhere to go, I went and bought two cups of garri with the last #100 to take as breakfast. On my way back, I saw a grasscutter beside the bush. Fantastic! This bush meat will go with my garri, then I started chasing. We both entered the bush but it escaped anyways. Disappointed, I headed to my home. Then I discovered the nylon I was holding was lighter. When I looked, it was empty. A stick pieced the nylon when I was chasing the grasscutter and the garri leaked. Chai! Two trouble one God"

The day was bright and clear, but it wasn't a happy day nor the day of joy at all. I was left with nothing. Not even a drop of water is in my jug, but I can get a cup from my next-door neighbor. If there's no food, drink water for sustenance. But my neighbor surprised me. She gave me fried rice with chicken and a jug of water. Of course, I was surprised at how she got the food but this is not the time to ask questions. I rushed in and set to eat, then I heard a knock on my door. It was @nelson-george (aka eat it all). We all know him. He can eat a trailer of food and ask for more. Before somebody will come and short my ration, I quickly hide my food under the bed

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He has a sharp nose. Guy wey the fried rice and chicken? He was very accurate. For 10 minutes we were arguing.

Me: "No rice and chicken"

George: Na lie, e dey. I no go comot for here today.

See problem o. On top of my rice. Chai! Poverty is not delightful. At last, I agreed. There's love in sharing. When I stretched my hand and brought out the food, the plate was empty. I only saw three pieces of rat shit on the plate. The economy of the country is worst to the extent that even rats cannot spare chicken bone. I looked at George and he reciprocated. My countenance told him something was wrong

Guy, we go see later. I had to see him off to free my mind from the misfortune. As we were walking, I was thinking in my mind "Make I just see 2 million on the road now"... But the question is "Who will lost it"?

Can you crack ribs? If yes, check out this post and make us laugh out loud

Inviting @shrazi and @tykee to join the challenge by checking the post link above

The comedy was all cooked up just for fun

Thanks for reading

This is ckole the laughing gas

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