Photo On Pexel by Juliana-Polizel Oh, here we are again, come on right in, you need not need to be afraid cos I am not talking about physics so you are safe and so am I.
You can relate to this if you are from Nigeria or have been there.
The country's leaders might be shitty but well the citizens are happy with memes on their feeds all day long.
Just like I said, you can relate to this if you have been in Nigeria on how Lagos conductors are, if you don’t know well
I can tell you that you should believe this quote that says “many are mad but few are roaming.”
You’ve got to check your brain every minute by shaking it or holding your head to be sure you haven’t been ‘zombied’(not yet a word but you are free to use it) by how some conductor in Lagos acts.
I have been privileged to meet some conductors and passengers who had got me laughing like a maniac after trying hard to hold it in like holding up a fart when your crush came over to talk to you.
There was a bus I entered and the conductor said the word “Isn't that your money?” to passengers who had refused to enter his bus.
Picture this scene where someone had to ask you “does this money belong to you?” and when you turned back to find him/her pointing to an empty floor..
Without putting you in more state of hunger, let me tell my story of an encounter with “the conductor”
I had woken up early to meet a colleague of mine at the bus stop, she was pregnant and needed to get the baby's stuff and I seem to know some places which is why we agreed on meeting at the bus stop.
While waiting to get a bus to hop in, a bus stopped beside us and some passengers came down which gave in space for us to get, while seated, a lady came over just before the bus moved and she told the conductor of her destination and he called a higher price.
She tried to negotiate and he just tapped the bus to signal the driver to move, just when the bus moved a bit, the conductor told the driver to wait and called for the lady to come over, and what did he say when she did..
Can you guess?? Who knows you might guess right but I can assure you at that moment none of us passengers could.
Care to know what he said??
Oh, I will tell you, maybe not exactly as he had as I can feel my keyboard cracking up as I type reminiscing on what he had told her.
At first, he asked her how much they sell Gala(a snack) now, the question seems off but she answered anyways and he continued.
Oh, yeah.. He did continue, saying, I suggest you get 4 gala's and sachet water since I bet your money won’t be able to get a mineral to go, tie your shoelaces well and checking his time he continued, in 3 hours if you are fast in walking, you should get to your destination and just then he tapped the bus to move.
And our reactions?? At first, everyone was gobsmacked by his statement but then a woman at his back got out of the trance and she surprised him and us too.
What did she do?? Yeah, she slapped him on the head, and when he looked back to talk she gave him a knock and gave him a shush sign like she put her hands on her lips in a fashion manner to shush him up.
And did he shush up his mouth? Yes, he did so like a sulking baby which brought in lots of laughter on the bus.
My colleagues and I did have a lovely time at the market and we sometimes use the sign the woman gave to the conductor to shush people up at work.
When we finally let out the story at work, it became more fun when someone does it as it reminded us of “the conductor."
I am sure you have your stories as well, care to share them? Feel free to buzz into the comment section with your thoughts on this.
Thanks for reading.
Still yours truly,
Balikis.
Peace be unto those who crave it and more to this who chase it away
