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I rarely went to other churches to avoid their different doctrines and teachings. There are a lot of churches and they have different means of worship.
When I traveled to the southern part of my country 8 years ago, I saw a lot of churches.
Some churches knelt to pray all through their services, one of my friends attended their program and when he got home, he developed a knee injury. This caused a laughing matter in our compound then.
We even named the guy ' Kneel Pastor'.
Since then I used to watch the kind of churches I will attend.
One of my colleagues has been disturbing me for a while
to attend his church's special program. He told me that their pastor is prayerful.
He invited me to their 3-day revival and he begged me to attend at least one day out of the 3 days.
He told me that their pastor is a jovial man and that I will love his preaching and his prayers.
I quickly asked him that, hope we won't kneel all through the program.
He burst into laughter and said why would he do that.
I told him about my friend's experience a few years ago and he also laughed about the scenario.
He responded that their doctrine is different from that one.
He also explained further that I will find the program interesting and I will come back to attend more programs.
I attended the program
Then I joined the program last week, the environment and the church were neat and they have a lot of members.
There are a lot of aged people In the church, I can count the number of youths that are present in the program.
Their pastor was a middle-aged person, to my prediction the pastor would be in his early 60.
The pastor led the praise and worship section and he was dancing some funny dance. The dancing steps were funny to me, so I started smiling.
My friend was imitating the dancing moves as well as everyone in the church.
I was the last person standing who was unable to follow the dancing moves.
Well, I didn't care about that; all I was doing was moving my body slowly.
Just a few minutes into the praise and worship, one usher approved that I should try to join the dancing steps.
Both of us had a brief conversation:
Me: why should I join the dancing steps?
Usher: That was the uncommon dancing steps of King David in the Bible then.
Me: I couldn't keep calm, I burst into a loud laughter.
Usher: I know you can't believe that, but our pastor proved it to us.
I was shocked and I couldn't believe my ears, because I didn't expect anyone to be so gullible to believe such a statement.
There was no video clip to show how King David danced in the Bible.
So I asked further questions from the usher.
Me: Did you see any video clip explaining that?
Usher: No, but our pastor watched it online and we all believed him because he's a man of God and he can't lie.
I laughed again and I started thinking about how the pastor would have brainwashed his members.
So I told the User that I will try to imitate the dancing steps.
She replied that the more energy I put in, that's how my blessings will be high.
So I started dancing too, to play along and some members were happy and came closer to dance with me.
The Hilarious Prayer Session
The pastor started the prayer session, he said everyone should stretch their hands as if they wanted to receive a gift.
Everyone did that, including me. Then the pastor said manna from heaven should fall into those hands, everyone shouted amen.
I wasn't surprised about that, because we do receive invisible things with faith.
But what baffles me was when the pastor said everyone should eat the manna in their hands.
I watched everyone and I couldn't see anything. I moved closer to my friend and told him that I didn't receive anything.
He told me that it was an invisible manna, that I should lick my hand, and the manna will enter my mouth.
At this time I began to realize I entered the wrong church today.
The pastor continues with his prayers, the few I can remember goes thus:
Pastor: Lord, I forgive you for what you did to all of us in this church. We are yet to receive all that you promised us, Lord I forgive you.
Me: I was thinking that, so the pastor has the right to forgive God.
Pastor: The Lord will bless all your enemies more than you so that they won't hate on you again.
The congregation shouted a loud amen, but I couldn't say amen. I just said within me that God forbid.
Pastor: As you are going out this week, may the truck of blessings hit you all.
Pastor: May you and all your family fall inside the pit of breakthrough.
Me: At this point, my mind told me that I should run away, or else another thing might happen.
This prayer looks like a curse in disguise to me, so
I excused myself gradually like I'm walking around the church. That was how I ran away from the church and I couldn't wait for my friend.
My friend called me after the program and I told him that he shouldn't invite me to their church anymore.
He made an effort to emphasize how effective the prayers are. I advised him to wait till the truck of blessings hit him and render him incapable of walking.
He hasn't invited me to their church again since that time.
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