A fool at 40 is a fool forever, that's in the olden days, now a fool at 18 is a fool forever.

I had to wise up when Mum told us that we don't have to keep our minds thinking about girls and we should focus on our studies. Girls will later come chasing us. Are girls lions or leopards?…

But every time she tells us about her dating story, I feel confused. She started dating my dad at the age of 16. And they were together for more than 6 years before she got married. I am confused about that mum!

Why should we still wait till they come chasing us? Did you pursue Dad too? These are questions in my mind I dare not ask her.

She should just tell us she is scared of us bringing her good news of impregnating someone. At least it is a way to test if we are manly or not. And her having her grandchildren early isn't that bad.

A fool at 16

I managed to finish up my secondary education with the mindset that girls will come pursuing me. My mates already picked their choice in the class and they lived a couple of lives during school hours. I begged my soul never to get carried away and to remain focused.

I will always think back to Mum's words. All these guys are useless fellows. Because they chose to run after girls. Monkey should chase the banana, not the banana chasing the monkey.

Though there was a girl I liked so much. I never knew I would have a woman spec. But my poisoned mind made me lose her cheaply to someone else. I told my close friend about her and he asked me to shoot my shot. In my mind, I was asking God for forgiveness for disobeying Mum. But in reality, I am becoming a man.

Little did I know my friend had silly plans in mind. He also liked that same girl and probably had approached her and got disappointed. We went to sit behind her in class. Then he tapped her with my hands and faced the other way. She looked back and gave me a bitter face. I smiled. My heartbeat was faster than Usain Bolt’s.

He did it again and I thought of winking at her, she stood up, faced me, and gave me a hot slap on my cheek.

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Wow! Impressive! Love is blind. That’s what I call love at first sight. It happens like that in movies.

I became a one-day celebrity! All eyes were on me.

All I could see was Mum's face and her words never to chase girls.

Another fool at 18

I thought I must have grown up a little. And grew more courage. Little did I know that there is a huge difference between Bollywood love movies and the reality of life

At 18, I am now at the right age to approach any lady. But I already lost the chance to learn while I was in school due to the hot slap experience and shame.

I saw a girl on a bike one day. I immediately stopped another bike and went after her. I don't know where the adrenaline rush came from. I had to act before I thought. I just told the bike to keep on following her and I will pay his bills. I thought I would get to know her house that very day.

She alighted the bike and paid, the next thing was to see her enter into a nice car. I thought maybe it was her dad. But how can her dad be so young? Bike man! please take me back to where you picked me. And then how much is my money? He said my money was 1000 naira. And I thought it shouldn’t be more than 300 naira. God!.

I had to go back home and borrow the balance from Mum to pay the bike man. I thanked her from the deepest part of my heart, thanks for caring for your son who failed to listen up.

We keep learning from experience

At some point in my life, I just had to learn the hard way.
Finally, I got a cellphone and I would say it must have changed my life for the worse. During that time there was nothing like WhatsApp. It's either you are on Facebook, Twitter or you are on 2go.

I met her on 2go. After using all my food allowance to buy data subscription and shared it halfway with this girl. I believed so much in that illusionary love.

We passed through the talking stage chatting on the phone. Then I asked to see her one on one. I knew I couldn't make it but I planned to go missing at home because of her and face the consequences. Mum mustn’t know I went after a girl. That poison is still there battling with me.

She asked me to send her transport fare so she could come over to a place closer. I went to hustle again as a Good Samaritan and sent her the money I am supposed to use to feed myself for days. I don't blame those who go bankrupt because of a woman, they were born by a woman, so it’s directly proportional to dying by one.

I asked her for a date we can meet, I already ironed my best clothes then. But didn’t get a response from her for days. I felt she blocked me. Not until the following week. I saw her profile changed. Now she is engaged with a ring on her description oh. Nice play. I needed to take heart. I was just a learner who got freaked by loyalty.

Only the weak quit.

I admitted I was a fool. But this time around I must be wiser. I had to look for a lady physically. She was someone close by. No talking stage, I won't fail twice. I asked her for a date. She told me to pick a date.

My heart raced. I thought that was how easy it was to fall in love. She must have fallen in love at first sight. I didn’t know I was digging my own grave of sorrow.

I picked a nice local restaurant just the way it happens in movies. Because I don't have money. She showed up and I was sitting somewhere. Yeah, so beautiful. My hook trapped a big fish today. I waved to her.

I told her to make some orders, and he had to order even what she can’t afford. Why are ladies not always pitiful and considerate? I already had plans to trek back home that day after seeing what she ordered.

She didn’t even greet me but started eating and eating. She was like a hungry lion. I just gave her some blood. After eating, she thanked me and asked for the reason for our meet-up. Deep down in my heart, I remembered the movie Beauty and Beast.

While I was scratching my head trying to think of a way to approach her, she bluntly told me, “I have a boyfriend” and thanks so much for the meal. She walked away. This must be a setup.

I paid for the meal and found a better spot where there is a fan, after a few hours of sleeping and sweating. I walked back home to relax.

I don't know why I am always lucky with fake love. And how do these Bollywood actors fall in love after coming across each other on the streets? I think it's high time to find true love down to India.