As the hours passed, thoughts and images of that mysterious dream still haunted me during the day. At times, a few images would flash in my mind causing me to feel intense anxiety and fear. It almost felt as if I was suffering from some sort of PTSD. Then, after moments of what I would describe as mental torture, I decided I could no longer bare the pain.
Immediately, i went online to research more about what was happening to me. After moments of brief research, I found that the answer to the mysterious dream I had was due to a phenomenon termed as "Lucid dreaming". I was honestly very intrigued by it, so I spent most of my day researching everything I could find about the phenomenon.
During my research I found that lucid dreams can be quite benefiting. They can relieve anxiety and stress, boost creativity and motor skills, improve problem solving skills and as well give insights and or solutions to problems you may be facing in the outer state. My research also led me to realize just how powerful and interesting lucid dreaming can be. During a lucid dream, you have the ability to manipulate your dreams as you go(you basically become the author of your own dream); flight, walking through walls, walking through mirrors, sex, falling backwards(which often ends you up in a different place) are just few of the many possibilities that could happen in a Lucid dream.
Unfortunately, as it will often go, there are disadvantages of lucid dreaming. These often amount when one has practiced one or more of the few things that are highly discouraged to do in a lucid dream. Things you shouldn't do in a lucid dream include: never looking into a MIRROR, avoiding Any SCARY or NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, avoiding anything that could trigger a real life action, avoiding loved ones if possible, avoiding anything to do with a memory, avoiding anything that happens during the MORNING( I learn't this the hard way), avoiding putting off reality checks(symbols that will let you know if you're truly dreaming or not), these and many more are things advised not to do during a lucid dream.
Armed with all these facts and instructions, i felt ready to go lucid once more. I had set a plan. One that will get me through the entire dream safely and without any problems and one that will perhaps lead me to that strange dream girl I met once before.
DREAM 2 - SECOND NIGHT
Nighttime had finally come and I wasn't going to take any chances. I sat for nearly 3 hours in the living room binge watching episodes of Spongebob square pants till I could no longer handle it.
Then, moments later, I retired to bed. Watching cartoons had now been checked out on my to do list but I still had a few things to review...
I kept a pen and my dream journal next to my bed so I could immediately jot down what I remembered when I woke up from whatever dream I would have. In my journal, I wrote down 4 things I carefully read to myself repeatedly before keeping it aside:
- Remember to CHECK YOUR HANDS to see if you are really in a DREAM.
- You are in control of the dream so DON'T think of anything NEGATIVE .
- FIND the GIRL.
4.) And remember don't be afraid, NONE of it is actually REAL. It's only a DREAM.
After, a few more nightly routines(including prayers), I laid down to sleep.
While in bed, i tried to position my body in the exact same position as I was when I first lucid dreamt. With my head now facing upwards towards the ceiling I repeated a mantra which I had previously found about online: "I would dream tonight and be completely aware that i am dreaming". Sometimes I would switch it up a little and say "I would lucid dream tonight and I would do so peacefully". I repeated this mantra for about 20-25 minutes before I started to feel tired.
Slowly, I started to feel myself drift off to sleep. Thoughts of the cartoon I had watched that night came to play in mind, I was peaceful. Before I finally slept though, I remember thinking things like "what if I don't lucid dream?" "what if I'm too exhausted to dream at all? "what if i have another nightmare?" and "what if I get hurt in the dream?... will i die in real life?". These and many more thoughts were in the forefront of my mind as I slept off but I tried my best to shove them away. I wanted this dream to be peaceful.
That same sensation you get from waking up after sleeping came again and i opened my eyes. I was standing in the same living room. That's right. The same dark and gloomy yet familiar living room. "You've got to be sh***ing me!" I exclaimed. I looked at the surroundings very carefully this time noticing the slight variations in the structure of the room in comparison to the last time I was here. Regardless, it was the same old room. I knew what was coming next and I was not prepared to stay for it.
Immediately, I checked my hands still in doubt of whether this was indeed a dream or not but the distortion in my hands proved otherwise. Then, I knew for sure that i was in a dream. I could hear crooked sounds forming from my back but I didn't turn to look. Instead, I started reminding myself what I had previously written down in my journal: "You're in control so DON'T think of anything NEGATIVE" and
"And remember don't be afraid, NONE of it is actually REAL. It's only a DREAM". After this, I started walking towards the opposite end of the hallway. The more I walked farther inside the house, the more different and bizarre it looked to me. In all honesty, it made me feel very uneasy.
The crooked sounds coming from behind me seem to increase now, almost as if it whatever made those sounds was now getting closer. This made it very hard for me to ignore it. I started to feel scared a little bit but I tried my best to control it. The louder and louder it got, the more my walking pace would increase. My calm walk gradually turned to a heavy breathing run when I heard a very loud shriek come from behind me. I ran and ran but I was quite slow. It seemed like a force from the dream was holding me back.
At this rate, I wasn't going to outrun whatever was behind me so I opened one of the doors in the hallway and entered inside.
I shut the door furiously behind me
and laid my back against the door. I was panicking and was overly consumed by fear but I kept on telling myself not to get scared and that it wasn't real.
Suddenly, I started feeling and hearing heavy bangs against the door. Whatever was outside was trying to get in. I held my back against the door with all my strength as I yelled and lamented out loud "Please leave me alone!!! you are not real!... so leave me alone!!".
Almost immediately, the sound disappeared. It seemed whatever was outside banging the door had disappeared. I was a bit relieved but was still very scared to go back out there. Enough was enough, I couldn't take anymore so I tried to wake myself up. I didn't really know how to though. I tried hitting myself and saying things like "Wake up! Wake up now! You are dreaming!" Yet nothing. I seemed to have been very awakened in the dream perhaps. My nerves came back again when I started thinking that i may be stuck in this dream. I was very worried. It was then I realized I was in a bathroom.
I proceeded to the hand wash basin to splash some water on my face and clear my head a little bit. After washing my face, I raised up my head and looked directly in the mirror. What caught my attention was how completely distorted and usual I looked.
It was quite awkward and uncomfortable for me but the more I stared in the mirror, the more an image that looked less like me began to form and just then, almost like some horror movie jump scare... I saw something horrifying.
It was some sort of demonic entity. I screamed like never before as I beheld this horrific sight.
What I remember next was a complete blank. It was almost as if I blacked out and regained consciousness in a completely new place.
It was daytime and I was now standing in a scarcely populated city
I walked around a bit, admiring the city before I sat down at what appeared to be a coffee shop. I just sat there as I watched the dream characters in that city interact with each other and their surroundings like it was indeed real life. It was somewhat mesmerizing. And then, I heard a female voice saying "here's your coffee sir!"
I was quite stunned even more so when she put the coffee on the table and sat down in front of me with a very stern look.
"It's you again!.. What do you want from me?" I said these words with quite a harsh tone but she ignored the question and stayed dead silent. She just sat there again looking directly at me, trying to read me or something. Frankly, i felt very uncomfortable and very annoyed and I said again in an even harsher tone "Can't you hear me? What do you want from me??? Who are you? What are you?...." I paused for a moment looking at her for a while and said "You are not real... you are nothing but a..." immediately she caught in and said "Have you come to this dream to die?"
I was very startled to hear such menacing words. I was both overwhelmed with fear as I was with anger. "Excuse me? What did you say???... Have I come to die???Do you know who I am?" I exclaimed while getting off my chair. "Yes I know you..." she said softly. Her head was now bowed down as she faced the coffee on her table "You have come to die here but I won't let you..." Then, without warning, I opened my eyes and I was back in my room. It was morning.
Memories of the conversation i and that strange girl had was still very fresh in my head and so were the feelings. I tried breathing in and out repeatedly to reduce the anxiety and anger I was feeling before grabbing my pen and hurriedly writing everything I could remember down in my journal.
As I was writing, I could feel something was off. Although my body felt very light, my movement was so slow and stiff. I ignored this however, and continued to write. Then, something even more bizarre happened.... The words I wrote down started to look extreme blurred so much so that I couldn't make out a single word. I was worried because I thought my vision had gotten so bad or something but it wasn't until I was able to make out a few lines from the words I wrote down "Have you come to this dream to die?" that my whole world basically collapsed. I was so consumed with fear that I thought I would explode. I then turned to the sounds that were coming from my door and what I saw was utterly horrifying...
One thing was for sure - I was not at all in the real world, I was still in the lucid nightmare.
Thanks for reading!
I hope you enjoyed reading this lucid dream experience. There are still about 2 more dreams to cover and I'll do that on my next posts.
But until then, keep exploring!