Welcome to my seemingly endless journey.
A trip that will take you to places I might have visited many moons ago.
It´s a tale that came back to me when I meditated on one of my past lives. A life I told you about in my unbelievable true story.
As promised in that story I will now share this story with you.
Chapter 113
I get to know Krya as a gentle woman who knows what she wants from life. But often has to fight to acquire some extra space within the high walls of the palace.
Yesterday she asked for my help. She has not dared to do it before because she does not believe that someone who has not studied could have more knowledge of medicine than the court physician. But since he has already used many treatments without success, I assume she finally decided that it couldn't hurt to ask someone else.
Based on my initial intake her ailment is certainly real, but part of me hopes that her call upon me is partly to have a legitimate reason to see me outside of dinner. Although I don't believe that she thinks as longingly about me as I do about her. I do think it is very well possible that she appreciates my company and wants more of it than the dinner allows her to have.
Oh by the gods that sweet smile of hers. Not the fabricated one she showed the first evening. No, her genuine smile. An honest smile full of innocence, a smile that betrays love and shows that it is truly alive.
She is like the most beautiful porcelain and as any work of art proves there is no beauty without heart.
We are back in my village together. With her soft hand in mine, we walk along the river, completely peaceful together. Children laugh behind us, busy playing. It feels like we've always been together. I can't remember a time when she wasn't in my life.
Now that I'm staring at the ceiling with my eyes open, it pains me that this was all just a dream. As connected as we were during the night, so separated we are now that the first sunlight heralds the day.
The dream makes me realize that my feelings for Krya are stronger than I suspected.
This afternoon she will undergo the first treatment for the pain in her hands. Her request for help has encouraged my heart to trick my brain into believing that there is more than, in all likelihood, there is.
But the heart cannot resist. It even tries to mislead my rationale, by using the smallest things as an indication that there is more between her and myself. Every smile and every hand gesture is analyzed and explained as a sign of affection.
Imbued with the realization that it would cost my life to feel this woman in a carnal embrace, I doubt for a few seconds whether it is worth it.
It's freezing, my jaw clenches, all my muscles contract. Then I push off and swim back up. I quickly leave the ice-cold bath opposite the steam cells that I have not used.
I needed only that ice-cold water to get my mind sharp again, unfortunately, the plan was not entirely successful. The thoughts of the upcoming afternoon did not leave my mind.
I will find her alone and have to rub her hands with herbal mixtures and then wrap them in cloths with wax. Touching her skin, caressingly applying the mixture to her wrist and finger joints. Is it possible to detach myself from these ideas for a moment? That is really necessary because they drive me to despair.
When I want to leave, one of the cells opens. It is Dadrie, who quietly walks into the ice-cold water, immerses himself, and then takes a seat on one of the benches.
“I like this life, Martio. I feel like I'm finally regaining my strength. My heart and my head calm down. The eternal agitation that I always carry seems to have disappeared.”
“You look relaxed too,” I reply.
“You know what's strange, even though we are here because of Numico, I still feel like my future also starts here,” Dadrie's voice sounds relaxed.
“We are all here for a reason, important or not, this step affects all of us,” I sound wiser than I wanted.
“So much is clear about you too, what about your feelings?” He looks at me scornfully.
“Dammit Dadrie don't bring it up.”
“Martio, I have known you for a while now, but not the way you have been behaving the last few days. You're absent all day, but as soon as dinner starts I see sparks dancing in your eyes. That girl is much too young and her father will never allow her to marry a farmer, forget it. You only bring sadness upon yourself.”
“You're right, but sometimes the heart is stronger than the head. And in some cases, love wins. It may even conquer the ruler of the world.” I joke happily because it's not clear that I'm throwing myself into even greater impossible love than the one I'm suspected of.
“Of course, you have to know it yourself, you are old enough, also old enough to be her father.”
“That's enough, isn't it,” I try to sound irritated, but it doesn't really work.
“Are you going for a ride or do you have other plans,” I ask.
“No, my plans can wait, we will focus your thoughts elsewhere. You will have to keep them sharp if you want to keep up with me in those woods”
We leave the steam bathing room behind I feel relieved that have managed to fill my morning.
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