In Retrospect

I've been fortunate for the majority of my life in that I'm not obese and even had issues maintaining a healthy weight. In my younger years, I was an under-eater to the point that I showed symptoms of anorexia.

It took years for me to unravel my tendency to under-eat. In my late
twenties, I watched a talk show named Sally Jesse Raphael. I was struggling with a personal issue and was very stressed. I hadn't eaten much for over three days. My sister was struggling and I was stressed over these events and a lack of ability to go to her.

The show that came on the television featured a group of young, anorexic women who were discussing their battle to be normal and to eat healthily. Some women had lost most of their weight and were skeletons with skin draped over their bones.

What these women were saying made the hair on my neck stand up. Their internal dialog eerily mimicked my own. Not eating had become my unconscious method of coping with an unbearable, controlling marriage.

Many years later, I maintain a healthy weight. I have even had to put effort into losing weight a few times in the past ten years. Age, lifestyle changes, working from home, and sitting most of the day for work are factors that contribute to challenges in maintaining a healthy weight.

Obesity or being underweight can be symptoms of a deeper, emotional condition. In my situation, I was able to change habits impacting my well-being, and would, in some way, impact my future. Learning to recognize my motivation regarding eating/not eating improved my life. It has been a good thing for me. Ultimately, I seek balance.

Photos captured on my Samung Galaxy Note S22 Ultra Plus at dinner this evening.

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