It is necessary for a couple to find a common ground with regards to the upbringing of their child. While some might want to raise their child a certain way, others might decline.
A man or woman who was verbally
abused as a child,spanked, and put through a lot of domestic abuse might not want to follow the same part in raising their child. Most parents in the 70s, 80s and 90s spanked their kids but we are beginning to learn that it is not the best way to resolve conflicts.
A wife or husband who chose to talk things through instead of spanking a child is seen both by their spouse and other kids as a weak link, which is wrong. The kids can focus on this and do things a certain way when this parent is around. When the parents that spanks or abuses them is around, things are done differently, coupled with fear.
Most of the behavioral pattern that persists during the formative years are as a result of the upbringing of a child. At early teenage years peer pressure sets in, whatever information they get from Friends they will most likely practice both in school and at home; that is why you will see a teenager who used to be shy as a child being rebellious both to parents and teachers.
Deciding what item of clothing to put on kids goes a long way in building their formation. Both parents should speak with one voice on the choice of their children's outfit. It is important to teach kids that certain parts of their body and meant to be for them and for them alone and these parts are meant to be covered up at all times. Parents should decide what type of music their children listen to, what type of movies they watch, and there should be a control to the television programmes they view. All these if not controlled, expose kids to think they are in the right path but then, they get to a certain age where we can no longer control them and that is when it becomes a problem.
When you teach them beating, abuse, spanking is a corrective measure, they will one day they return the favour, either to you or friends, neighbors etc. Getting into trouble is not ruled out as they might also get arrested for disturbing the peace. Helping them understand that they can talk to you about anything builds their confidence. It is always advisable to choose a more subtle approach to understand your kids.
Violence is never the answer.
