April 29, 2022
You probably know that my health has been suffering badly recently due to overwork and lack of rest. I've been pushing myself to the limit to the point that I compromised that aspect and only took it for granted before. I admit I am on the stage of restoring its phase, but I guess it's too late.
I was permitted by my boss to visit the hospital this week and conducted some tests and other laboratory examinations, as required by my doctor. It cost me an arm and a leg but I didn't mind as I only wanted to take this culprit out of me that jeopardized my well-being. After the general health examinations which include X-ray, ultrasound, and MRI, the result came out.
My bright day turned blue when my doctor dropped a bombshell that would change my entire life. Unfortunately, for bad not for good. I only wanted to be as fit as a fiddle and restore my health, but it seemed that fate gave me an unfavorable twist instead.
"You only have 250 minutes to live in this world." The doctor said.
Those words rang in my ears and traveled deep into my mind they can not be taken out or forgotten. How can I erase those words in my mind if they would be the very last health findings? Perhaps they would fade once I cross the bridge of life. I couldn't believe I would leave this world too soon.
"Among all people, why me? And why here in a foreign land?"
The only question I uttered sadly. My dreams and goals started to shatter into pieces. There's no point in pursuing them anymore. I am on the brim of falling to the end of my journey anyway.
I recently read about a prompt on another platform about this matter, but here I am, literally having my last 250 minutes.
I am still in the process of acknowledging the situation and accepting my bitter fate. And thinking about how I could spend these last 250 minutes, I couldn't imagine a single one. But this is my fate and I have no power to reverse it. I already wasted 10 minutes mulling over nothingness and only have 240 left.
Time is running so fast when I want it to pace so slow or could I stop it for a moment, days, months, or years? I wish I was just dreaming, but no. I can feel the wind, I can see the sky and the sun, I can hear the bustling streets and cars honking, and lastly, I can feel the pain that I ignored for too long, and now it's taking its revenge. And that was the biggest wrong decision I ever regretted. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and make things right. But no I couldn't and it would only happen in my fiction stories.
Here I am facing the clock making tic tac sounds that go along with my heartbeat rhythm. In the next couple hundred minutes, my heart would beat but it would stop after two hundred forty as I already wasted ten minutes, and counting. I'm curious though about what would happen next. Would I feel my very last breath? Will it be extended to 260 or 300 minutes? My mind starts to travel farther and create more questions that are hard to fathom.
I can't waste a single more minute so I packed my things and bid goodbye to my employer's family who already know the situation. Then my phone's countdown timer was set to 220 minutes, and another 20 minutes were spent packing necessary things. I would be going back to my homeland as I want to lay there forever with my family not abroad.
220 minutes left...
It's like a crucial time for me as I'm not even sure if I could step foot at home before my time ends. While doing mathematics I would probably reach home after more or less three and a half hours from HK to Manila Philippines is 2 hours, and Manila to our city is 1 hour, then another 30 minutes from the city to our hometown.
200 minutes left...
After 20 minutes I found myself sitting on a plane bound to my country. It would be more or less a couple of hours flight and I started to do things I planned in my mind.
I converted my cryptocurrencies to fiat and sent all the money to my mother and father's accounts. I left some crypto for my sister who is also keen on cryptocurrencies so she could kick start and continue what I have started. And hopefully, she could manage to get hold of everything through crypto notes I made for her.
140 minutes left...
In the middle of our flight, even though phones were not allowed to be used, I secretly called my mom.
"Hello ma, how are things out there?"
She's a bit surprised as I usually call her on weekends and it's supposed to be working hours. I can't even collect my thoughts and don't know what to say or should I confess the truth to her. But I opted not to and made our conversation casual. She would probably be more surprised if she saw me arriving home a few hours from now.
Things were fine at home and I heard my father's voice so I told my mom to give the phone to him.
"Hello pa, do you want to pursue your plans for your farm? What about you do it sooner? Don't worry about the lacking money, I will take the rest."
As expected, he was surprised as all of a sudden I talked about the matter. Before he gave the phone back to my mom, I just told him...
"Please always take care of mom and my siblings, and don't ever leave them."
Confused and bewildered, it sounds like I was bidding goodbye. Then the phone was returned to my mom.
"Ma, can you just take a rest and leave household tasks to my siblings? They are big enough to carry on your duties. I don't want you to get sick as you're not getting younger anymore, as well as papa. What if I leave too young, who will take care of both of you when you become bedridden? Please stay strong."
"Knock on wood, don't talk about it. You are still young and we would cross the bridge of life first before you. You should stay strong for our family."
The tears that I was holding just dropped uncontrollably. I bid goodbye to her and lied about going back to work as I don't want her to hear me sobbing.
100 minutes left...
It seemed like our conversation took longer as the plane was about to land when I dropped my phone. I walked directly to the next flight going to our city.
While on the plane going back to our city, a lot of memories flashed in my mind. Those good days and bad days, I wondered if they will be gone in my mind once I reached the world of the afterlife.
I thought of my mom and her cooking, so I opted to call her again to ask a favor.
"Ma, sorry but can you cook my favorite food? Just for my blog. Cook pork adobo, mung beans with moringa leaves, and mango float for dessert. Thank you."
It was a perfect time as dinner was quite approaching. I landed in our city and the grab taxi I booked was already waiting for me. Through the taxi, I would reach home in less than 30 minutes.
40 minutes left...
On my way, I called my best friends via group call and had a little chit-chat with them. It's been a long time since I talked to them and I made sure that they will be happy in our last conversation. It lasted for 10 minutes. Another 10 minutes were spent calling my two older brothers who were on duty. I missed them anyway as we hadn't seen each other for many years.
20 minutes left...
My phone vibrated and reminded the remaining time left.
As I hopped out of the taxi and dragged my luggage, I faced our house and froze for a while as I exactly don't know what to act or say to my family. But a grown-up boy appeared at my sight and was surprised. It was my youngest sibling, he screamed and called my parents out.
"Ma, pa, ate ( older sister) is here! Ate is here!" My brother shouted.
Familiar faces started to show up and rejoiced at my surprise arrival. My parents drew nearer and hugged me so tightly. I couldn't imagine how they missed me so much as my mother even cried in surprise. In my mind, I felt even sadder at the thought that I'll be leaving them too soon. My grandmother heard the commotion, went out of her house, and was surprised to see me standing in front of our house. She walked faster and hugged me too.
"Enough with the commotion, let's go inside," I told them.
My little siblings were so happy seeing my luggage as they thought I have "pasalubong" (presents) for them. Of course, I bought some for them.
The dinner was ready so I ate immediately after washing my hands. My mother even complained that I didn't tell her about my arrival.
"You should have told me that you are going back home today. I should have cooked more."
"This is enough mom. I want to surprise all of you." I explained.
My phone vibrated again to remind me of the remaining time.
5 minutes left...
As time drew nearer, my heart beat even faster. I felt like I wasn't ready enough to leave this world, especially since I finally see my family again after many years. But at the same time, I could feel more pain in my body and I was getting weak. I guess that's the effect if you're about to face your final stage.
My sweet sister sat beside me and hugged me too. "Hey, don't get married too soon, okay, take care of mama and papa when they grow older."
She just laughed as she thought I was only kidding. I also told my other siblings to study harder so they could get a better job and life someday.
A minute before my time ended, I bid goodbye to them and told them that I wanted to sleep.
"Ma, pa, Lola, I'm tired. I want to sleep now."
They permitted me and had my last glance at them. My mother's eyes looked too sad as if she can sense my pain. But I just smiled to give her reassurance.
Inside my room, I pulled my notebook from my drawer and wrote something on it before I lay down on my bed.
I closed my eyes and smiles formed on my lips. This may be my last day, but at least, I felt happy seeing my family again.
1 second left...
And this would be my last blog.
Jane signing off...
"Good night world. Goodbye, fam."
The last words I whispered to myself before I closed my eyes..
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