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Thomas Stepforth Sr., at 65, still marveled at how his late father, Theodore Stepforth, got smarter and smarter every year.
Such a moment came while he was in the hospital after being in an unusual car accident in which his reputation had hit the stratosphere. The news had put forth the details; the billionaire and former D1-college basketball star had modified an old signature move to push his daughter Melissa out of the way of the car and get himself out of the way in the next second.
As Theodore Stepforth had predicted decades earlier, Mr. Stepforth's jealous rivals from years past were even more spurred by this feat to try to take Mr. Stepforth down a peg. One would think they would realize he was further out of their reach than ever, but, as Theodore Stepforth had once said, “A man with too much time on his hands and too little in his head reckon he gon' cut down a pine tree with a paper knife, 'cuz ev'rybody know paper be made outta wood.”
But he had also told his son, “You got to keep your space …every tree reckon he too tall to fall 'til a short man come too close with a big ax. Be careful when folks all de sudden be tryna gap up on dat space – keep your space and knock 'em out of it if you have to.”
So: as an old “frenemy,” as the term goes for those usually cordial people until they think they can get you, entered his room with a too-weak smile and greeting, Mr. Stepforth, who had his phone in his hand, casually greeted and exchanged pleasantries while texting his son to say who had showed up and that backup might be needed.
Mr. Frenemy was furious about Mr. Stepforth's greater elevation because of what it was, but also for another reason: the details had touched a sore spot in why his life had not been as much of a success. After the pleasantries were over, the frustration boiled over soon after:
“Look, man – it's bad enough that you are out here running and jumping circles around everybody – still – but now you are making life too hard for the rest of us! Do you know what the rest of us that aren't Superman are going to have to deal with now? Do you realize how much respect we can't have because of you even if the women and all these kids were worth it?”
Mr. Stepforth took his time on his response … there were a lot of ways to respond, and all of them were varying degrees of dangerous. Mr. Frenemy was blocking the door quite well, and there was noise in the hall because the floors were being cleaned. The tactical situation was interesting, so he opted for de-escalation.
“I can't say I thought about all of that when trying to save my daughter's life,” he said calmly.
“Yeah, well, the rest of us have to live with the consequences of you making all these women and children think they are worth all that.”
Mr. Stepforth knew the story of Mr. Frenemy's life – the knowledge had helped him not do stupid things. Both men had been through a divorce, but Mr. Stepforth was not down to his last $20 million over five mistresses, two ex-wives, and nine children.
Mr. Stepforth's cell phone lit up: “I'm on my way, Dad.”
“Come sit down, Mr. Frenemy. I can hardly see you with all that light streaming in behind you.”
Sometimes, the way a man moves … Mr. Frenemy was a big man, with yards of manhood upon which to see the resentment and hate he had for the man he was visiting … but also the cautious respect. The two men had known each other since teen years, and the millionaire knew the billionaire well enough to know – the space kept there was in the mind. So: he came out of the door since he wanted to close with Mr. Stepforth anyway and was glad for the invitation, but moved his chair so he would have action room.
Mr. Stepforth noted that … the man was just begging for a reason … but at the same time, he felt a certain level of compassion. Mr. Frenemy was trapped in a particular way, and it would have been un-Christian not to try to get through to him.
“Yes, we do go through a lot with the women and the children,” he said, “and sometimes it seems like they don't understand.”
Mr. Frenemy blinked, surprised … the one thing he didn't expect was a measure of agreement.
“Yeah, and you keep making it too easy for them,” he growled. “Your son, of the whole lot, is the only one worth it.”
That angered Mr. Stepforth, profoundly, but again, he opted for de-escalation.
“Mr. Frenemy, my father used to tell a joke that went something like this: an axle went to court to sue the car he was part of, because he was angry with the car frame that was slow and erratic and uncoordinated, with the tires that had been busted and were flat, and with the spokes of the wheel that were bent and cracked along with the twisted rim. 'We were going along just fine, Your Honor, and then they showed their poor quality all of the sudden!'
“The judge considered the case, and then refused to take it, which made the axle very angry: 'This is no joke, Your Honor – look at all the damage around me that I have to deal with!' The judge replied: 'Indeed, Mr. Axle, but the joke is on you: you don't know that you are broken.”
Mr. Frenemy laughed hard, but then stopped.
“Wait a minute … are you saying … ?”
“Every man is the axle of his family, Mr. Frenemy. My wife and my daughters didn't get to be messed up while I was perfect, and if you understand metal work and human nature, you know it is easy to mess things up and hard to repair them. So, here I am, working overtime with God's help, trying to do what I can as I get repaired, because mine are worth it to me.”
Mr. Frenemy's anger rose to a dangerous level, but Major Thomas Stepforth Sr. strode through the door with a smile – “Hey, Mr. Frenemy, how are you?” and then sat down on his father's bed and blocked the action path. The major had that look in his eye that said, “Be sure you are ready to meet Jesus if you try to get over here,” so that was out.
But that gave Mr. Frenemy time to think, and Mr. Stepforth added, “How are the grandbabies doing?”
That brought Mr. Frenemy into the right state of mind at last. He loved his grandchildren, deeply, and that brought understanding to his mind. He heaved a big sigh … and started a new journey.
“As well as they can do,” he said softly, “riding around in a vehicle like you described. I keep things cordial with the rest, but yeah … the axle is in worse shape than I realized before coming in here. I used to talk with Papa Brownie [Bruno Brown Sr., the mentor he shared with Mr. Stepforth] and get some perspective, but I just feel totally lost now.”
“Losing Papa Brownie is just enraging,” Mr. Stepforth said. “God took him, and we still need him, or at least, need someone to give us that perspective.”
“Yeah!” Mr. Former-Frenemy said. “It's just … life is so unfair, and then we make our own bad choices, and then we are running out of time to make things as right as they can be.”
“It surely seems like it, sometimes,” Major Stepforth said.
“You see why I am out here still running and jumping, trying to cope with it,” Mr. Stepforth said.
Mr. Former-Frenemy breathed a big sigh.
“Yeah, I see it. I wish I had your energy.”
“Want to know who my personal trainer is?”
This led to good fellowship – training, diet, lawyers, therapists, faith, church, family – and Mr. Former-Frenemy left in a completely different and far better mindset.
Mr. Stepforth breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank you for coming so quickly, Major Tom. That man – said that he and the rest aren't Superman, but then wanted to make the man he thinks is Superman have to square up on him! He was begging me to get him a room in this hospital – he was begging for it!”
“But, you really are super, because you didn't,” Major Tom said. “He was really just as devastated as the rest of us about Grandpa Brownie, and, like Melissa, crying out for help. In a way, this was as great a feat as yesterday, Dad – Lord Airstepper declines to become Lord Haymaker –.”
Mr. Stepforth broke out laughing.
“ – Incidence of so-called Black-on-Black crime is not added to –.”
“Darn straight – at our age, too!”
“And that man has another chance to get what he can of his life together.”
“I'm not all that much, son. God is … and gave me an earthly father and mentors who had time to teach me what I needed to know to be who I need to be now. Like our friend Former-Frenemy there, I'm going to have to make it up late, and we thank God for the opportunity.”