love and a selfishness that exists

ego

maybe this is part of a story of my journey, which I wrote only as an expression that not everyone understands even though everyone knows.
what do you think love and affection is?!!
all say that love and affection is a gift from God to his creatures.
but for me it's not as beautiful as what other people say, everyone has a level of what they feel, not a few have to feel the bitterness of love and affection even though we have become a family. a lot of what we feel is good, happy, fighting, so that we harbor feelings of selfishness.

God's scenario seemed to lead me to build an endless story, from suffering that I could not feel whether it was bitter or sweet. God only gives a little pleasure of happiness that I have felt so far.

I thought, I'm too stupid with my life's journey, where everything is just lies and becomes a story that can be changed. Tired of all this, I want to feel far away from what I'm facing even though it's impossible but this is a choice that needs a lot of consideration.
what all !! the choice of self-centeredness will go well, I think it's the same, everything doesn't change, only regret exists, and makes me worse off with what I feel. will it be beautiful in time???

??

I don't know, God, I'm tired of all the facts that you have given me, even though you think I am capable of going through the process that was given, but it doesn't feel fair, what I've been fighting for is only a grain of dedu, which is never priceless in the eyes of those who care for me.

what should I do if this always haunts my life, there is no best way out to solve the problem that I have been experiencing..... continue part two

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