This is a really personal piece, expressing how I've been feeling lately, the overall sense of overwhelm. I'm incredibly thankful for all of the opportunities, so it's hard to not feel some guilt, wondering what the right decisions are. Finding the balance is the hardest, but I believe it's the key for long term planning.
">She found herself in the darkness.
Taking a deep breath, the hero noticed a weight on her shoulders. She tried to shrug it off, but it became heavier. Then she discovered a tiny star, and tried to catch it, but it continuously escaped her grasp. She closed her eyes, envisioning light and so she found the doorway in her mind. Instantly silence erupted into cacophony as the darkness reached out to pull her back, but she persisted.
Letting go of fears weighing her down, she stepped into the light."
My biggest issue with too many decisions is I don't know how to prioritize, but a friend shared a method I'll try out, and hope it will help. I feel like I'm lagging behind, that I'm not doing everything I can because I try to get full night's sleep (sometimes unsuccessfully) and time off every day to relax and watch or read things.
I honestly thought that this painting would help me get rid of the negative feelings, hence I named it "Discovering Light", but it actually got harder at first, until I eased on amount of work I do. I'm finally feeling better, so I find it easier to write this post. I haven't done any new adventure art since this one, I'd love to do at least one per month, and work to expand the project further.
I'm aware that I need to improve certain organization and awareness skills, but it's easier said than done. I've been spending more and more time on each artwork, to put it into perspective, this artwork took more than 20x time of the very first adventure painting.
The hand grabbing the cloak has "doubt" written on it. Doubt and second guessing are toughest mentally, wondering if I'm doing the best I can. The writing above the door says truth, because truth is bigger than emotions, trying to see the bigger picture can be really helpful. I've mentioned taking things at my own pace before, but that also takes a level of self control.
All of these symbols are decipherable, I originally made the cipher for my Async project. Originally I used to make up symbols so I could privately write in my diaries as a kid after a few incidents where my diary was read. I love using the ciphers in my art, because I can make it more personal and know that the few that care to decipher it can learn more about the art. I'm still working up the courage to share more personal feelings than single words.
I'm really thankful I made a few amazing friends who I instantly connected with, their advice has been really touching and inspiring.
Full story before I had to cut it down because of the word limit on Foundation.
She stepped into the maze, glancing behind her as the gates closed, wondering if she made the right decision. She felt for the walls around her, trying to orient herself as she explored the paths. No illumination spells worked in this abysmal darkness, in fact no magic worked at all. Minutes or hours passed, all the same. Hero's face went pale as she couldn't remember her way back out, her only choice was to keep searching for the way out. For a moment there she felt something brush against her, but she shrugged it off as the mind playing tricks. She listened for any sounds, but couldn't discern anything peculiar. Then she noticed that her footsteps didn't make any sound either. Instinctively she clapped her hands, but silence persisted in this void. Her thoughts began to race, considering worst scenarios, but thankfully experience and practice grounded her in the moment. Acknowledging the fear she felt, she mustered the courage to continue, she knew that was the only way.
Memories flooded her mind as she walked on, trying to focus on the maze to no avail. The maze led her onward and so far she hadn't backtracked once, which was odd, but encouraging at the same time.
As she took a deep breath she noticed a weight on her shoulders, and it had been there long before. She tried to shrug it off, but it became heavier, slowing her down and becoming exhausting. Her eyelids felt heavy and her feet ached- she wanted to rest, but this wasn't a safe place. Then she noticed a flicker of light and ran towards it with hope. It was a tiny floating star and now she noticed many more. She tried catching it, but it continuously escaped her grasp. She giggled and was surprised to hear her voice. Relief washed over her, as her eyes teared up.. She closed her eyes envisioned a doorway made out of these stars. As soon as she did, she saw light through her mind.
Silence erupted into intolerable cacophony as darkness reached out to pull her back, but she prevailed. Letting go of fears weighing her down, she stepped into the light.
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