This is Deeth.
A reaper. She's a recreation of a 2014 redrawing of, well, a 2011 drawing. Man, I was just [redacted]teen years old back then. There's a whole back story to this, so brace yourself for an onslaught of word vomit.
11 years ago
A couple of years back, I loved drawing my own anime-style characters. Uhm, just female characters, though, the way I also prefer drawing mostly women now. The difference back then was that I always drew on paper, in black and white. I remember draining entire cartridges of gel-ink pens just so I could draw something. I even used Sharpies to shade stuff. Back then, I drew more in anime-style, like how many artists I knew started. (Gotta love anime, really! *whispers Go watch Chainsaw Man, it's out now!*)
It was October 2011, and while we don't really celebrate Halloween in the Philippines, I loved drawing things to the theme. My drawing back then was my own character that I thought of as a reaper. I drew lots of skulls back then. 😆 I honestly thought it was pretty detailed compared to how I do things now. Like, I had lots of ideas back then.
I mean, look at this! It's corny somewhat, but there were one too many skulls and bones, dead candles, a grave, even chains. Even added a crow. 😠Wow, I seemed to have a lot of time in my hands back then. 🤣 To be fair, I didn't draw it in a single day.
I think I drew it on paper for a couple of days, then re-drew it again on Photoshop with my trusty mouse and pen tool. And the Photoshop thing wasn't overnight, too. For someone that age, I think I did pretty well.
I wish I still have the paper version, but it's gone. :( I'm just glad that by the power of Facebook, the 2011 digital version is still accessible to me.
Then came 2014.
It was a year when I drew so much after a long hiatus. I also re-explored my style, and it was the time I really got into digital drawing. It's still mostly Photoshop pen tool, though, but it was a huge step forward for me.
I couldn't remember what was going on in my mind back then, but I ended up giving the 2011 drawing another take. It had obviously less details now. I think at this point, I felt like drawing so much more than this would be a drag, so I didn't. I wish I wasn't impatient then. I wish I could have taken more time.
I eventually changed a couple of other things in her, like the color palette, her hair, and some of the details in her dress.
Then came 2022.
It's October, and just a few days short of the original drawing's 11th year anniversary. I think I'm getting emotional reminiscing how I felt drawing Deeth originally back then. On paper. With my and some of my friends' gel ink pens. Then on Photoshop, with my trusty but slow desktop and overly sensitive mouse. And just how generally proud I was of how it turned out.
Then 2014, when I was re-exploring my potential. And then now. I actually drew this a few days ago, but couldn't really get the courage to share. I feel like it is lacking in many ways (it is!!!) and I didn't remember the details I originally put into the original version. Some days I was thinking of how I could have done better on it, but other days tell me that this is about fine. I'll look back into this a few years later, think about how I felt drawing it, then try again.
It feels a little special to me now.
A little bit more about Deeth in 2022
I actually drew this trying to remember how the original version looked like. I didn't think I was able to save it, but just as I was beginning to write this post, I thought about checking my very old Facebook posts. It was there.
What I did remember of the original was the dead tree. And a grave. The details about the skulls and bones, the crow, the moon, the chain didn't cross my mind.
So I drew silhouettes of gravestones, of (perfectly binary) trees, and flying birds in the background. And just made it feel completely different, but very consistent with how I drew things now. It took me a while to come to terms with how I probably wouldn't be able to make it feel the way I felt about my 2011 work, but now that I'm writing about it, I'm starting to feel a little bit better.
Notes
It had been a few years since I graduated from my undergraduate degree, so it had also been a long while since I last experienced piled up school works and exams. It's midterms, and I don't think I had enough restful sleep over the course of the last two weeks. Chipping in time to draw parts of this over the last few days was a great respite. ♥