I'm never going to change. I can't.
I went to my first concert since March 4, 2020 yesterday. It was an event called Chill on the Hill that happens in my city. Bands play on a stage facing a large hill, creating natural "stadium" seating. A friend's band was playing, so a bunch of people I knew were all going. I have avoided just about every social event lately, but I decided to go to this one.
It was mostly fun, but a little overwhelming. Social situations are a little exhausting for me. The way I've dealt with them for the majority of my adult life is to start drinking pretty quickly so I can numb it. That's part of the reason I've quit drinking. I don't do it because I like the taste (even though I do). I do it for the effect, to a dangerous degree.
The way alcohol works is that the effect on the body and the effect on the mind do not start and end at the same time. The relaxing effects on the mind wear off long before the effects on the body do. That's why you have to keep drinking to keep up. Your body could likely still be drunk the next morning but your mind won't be. Your reaction times will be slower, but you won't feel inebriated.
I hope I can still continue the challenge
This is my day 38 post, just the next morning. If I was a dishonest person, I could say my internet was down or something, but why bother to lie about something like that? The truth is, I got home kinda late last night and I was kinda mentally drained and not in a place to write out a post.
Today will be better, I can feel it!
Here's hoping my post tonight is normal, on time, and all of that good stuff.
