Mental Health
Life is tough and sometimes it takes time for us to get ourselves together so we are in the right head space to deal with things.
If you have had a lot of trauma in your life then you may have a damaged mind but this does not define who you are and does not mean you are weak minded.
Honestly i know for a fact most people would not be able to live in my mind, deal with the experiences i have to endure daily and carry on with their day.
Also in reality it took a lot of various events, situations and extreme conditions for me to reach broken so i know my mind is strong plus it is tested everyday.
Many have download an audio simulation and listen to it while they try and conduct even the basics of tasks, many mental health workers have tried it and stuggled.
Several of my family members and friends tried one once, so they could better understand what i am experiencing but they all turned off in less than a few hours and struggled to complete simple routine tasks.
Simulations are not perfect because there are lot of mental health experiences on top that can not be put into audio but it does give people an understanding.
There are many simulations out there some more realistic than others.
Today was a bad day for me for some reason it happens sometimes.
There are all kinds of triggers that can take place that causes episodes and sometimes you just can't work out why or what?
The thing is if i could just switch it off i would but that is not an option so i just have to work through it.
I am not going to dwell on it nor am i going to allow it to stop me accomplishing what i need to just means that things will have to be done later if needs be.
Most of the time i cope well and you would not even know thewre was an issue untill there is and then it is kind of obvious.
Really there is no hiding it at that point but this happens less these days and most of the time i am able to get back to normality, whatever that is, pretty quickly.
It is important to address these things and i find creation a great outlet for overcoming and reducing episodes as it stops me from overthinking myself into issues.
I wrote a poem about it some time ago that everyone seemed to like so here it is....
Darkness Falls
When darkness falls upon my mind
The hallucinations make me blind
The voices in my head shout loud
I lose sanity in this dark cloud
The battle rages long in my head
All the time i am wishing to be dead
Losing myself in this dark place
Desperately i search for some grace
No one can reach me in this reality
Neither my friends or even family
When this living nightmare happens
All i can do is search for patterns
Disoriented, confused and on the mend
Eventually it all finally comes to an end
A lonely fight against insanity is mine
When Darkness falls upon my mind
Created by Ben Thomas
Anyway going to crack on lots to do i think it will be a late one for me today but it is OK cause i am probably not going to be able to sleep anyways.
For those that are interested i have a diagnosis of treatment resistant schizophrenia and complex PTSD it as been a life long stress that cause me many problems and came to light about 17 years ago.
I did try and hide it for a long time but then something changed and it all went wrong, it has been a long road of recovery and i am told it will never be completely over due to the severity and the fact that there are other conditions in place that change the dynamics.
Like i said though i can hold things together quite well for the most part and the last 5 years have really been pretty stable just sometimes it pops up briefly.
Otherwise you would not know and anyways we all have a bad day from time to time regardless of our situations.
I just come across as quirky to most š¤£
I did managed to complete a round of Larry is Alive at CTPX
I am off to do curations for @aliveandthriving a project created by @flaxz then off to do some work for a project i completed @heartbeatonhive i also need to get @adysscheryl set up on the project to come work alongside me and the wonderful @jmis101
š I really love Hive so many awesome people here.šā¤ļø
