For me, the basic requirements to consolidate a bond are trust, chemistry, respect, and care. These are the four things that vulcanize the rapport according to me. Yet I also think that trust is just a myth. Many ones may antagonize me but I think trust lasts until there is no suspicion and doubts may arise at any moment. Even a false claim against someone we have known for years may ignite doubt somewhere in our minds. This is human nature. You might have experienced it in your life as well. We proclaim trust but when the time comes to show trust, there arises some sort of suspicion that if not remedied on time may act like a hole through which a lot of negativities will invade.
Friends have always kept a very special corner in my heart. Unlike others, who believe we make friends to stand by us on our hard times, my motive to make friends is just sharing some happy and jocular moments. The moments that soothe you and divert your attention from all other things that fade you up. With friends, we cherish our moments blithely. With friends, we can do those silly things that we can’t imagine doing alone. Friends influence your nature as it did in my case.
But as I have stated earlier when a fissure is created between friends then just like any other bond it doesn’t take long for that fissure to get converted into a large crack demolishing the entire rock of friendship. At these moments you are left with two options either you justify your point or you just let it for the sake of your bond. Time consists of cryptic events. Life encounters us with such times as well when we misunderstand someone or are misunderstood. So instead of worshipping the juggernaut of ego at that time, it is good to talk and remove that misunderstanding. Let me quote a recent example.
I have a coterie of few friends and we spend each moment of our university life together. We had some hard times together and we enjoyed some cheerful moments together as well. Our coterie was renowned in faculty just because of the chemistry we had in it. Recently, on some matters, we broke up into two groups. The reason behind this was just a bunch of misunderstandings from both sides. Both sides had their own set of complaints and it resulted in a situation when we even stopped talking to each other. Those who used to eat together started eating alone. None of us was liking this but everyone was intransigent. No one was ready to initiate talk just because of ego. That moment I realized how trust can fade away just because of a minor misunderstanding. Days passed in this.
One night I was using my mobile when I sneaked into my gallery photos. There were photos of my coterie as well. Our photos of having fun on tours, pleasant moments in faculty, tittering moments in hostel rooms, and on the roads of the university doing silly and crazy things. I couldn't stop my fingers from sliding one picture from another and all this was enough to defrost the thaw. Despite having egoistic and stubborn instincts from my star, my clan, and my nature, I couldn't stop myself from melting.
It was 1 a.m. but I didn't care for the time and called one of my friends and asked him lets initiate talks and remove the misunderstanding. I asked him to apologize even if we are found guilty and if we are not then we will forgive but at least in this way we can save the friendship of 5 years. We don't have to always stay together but at least we shouldn't end it like this. He compared me to me and we both texted into that WhatsApp group that was abandoned for many days. After the exchange of some annoying texts, a meeting was fixed for the next day. Next day we talked, We fought, and we argued but in the end, the conclusion was that there was a misunderstanding on both sides. This misunderstanding might have ruined the whole bond if the sacrifice of ego was not offered.
Bonds demand sacrifices from us. Sacrifices consolidate the bond but it must also be checked if someone cares for your sacrifices or not . I will not recommend you to sacrifice and waste your efforts when the another one multiply it by zero. Ego in any bond is very bad but self resoect is very essential.
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