I couldn't go to church today as I am feeling sick since last week Tuesday. The stress since the Christmas last year caused it. I have been trying to manage myself because I couldn't leave the whole cooking to my sister and cousin without checking what they are doing. Something about me is that I don't trust any of them to do it right because there would always be complaints here and there.
The sickness made me inactive on Hive even though I still show up to read a few posts and log out again. I couldn't write the last weekly edition in this community as I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I just didn't want to write something that wouldn't be good in the end. I had to make a random post instead about the incident that happened last week that made me get to know about the mysterious leaf in the forest.
Last Wednesday around 3 am, something happened to grandma that made everyone run out of their room to meet mama in her room. Her breath ceased and at that moment, different thoughts were coming in and making me feel for her because I can see it was almost time and she is already at her last stage.
Though no one said she should not go because she is already old (94 years) but we do not pray to start lifting mama here and there to pee or bathe. She also does not want such a thing as she does not want us to go through such stress and this is why she has always prayed for death to come for her.
Yesterday, I fed my grandma some egg and moimoi as she kept insisting she is filled up even when she didn't eat anything. I had to feed mama and was petting her to eat. She looked at me and was laughing. As I was feeding her, I thought of how she was fed like a baby when she was born and that is how life is.
Life is in stages and for who God has given long life, such a person will come back to act like a small child and those old people, their bodies would be fragile just as the first beginning of their lives. Mama's hand and skin were so soft that I could feel the skin of a baby.
Our prayer is that God should make us live long because I also want to live a long and good life just like my grandma.
This is another week and I hope to be more active than last week. If I would rate my activeness on Hive last week, it would be 3/10 because I didn't do much. But for this week, I will try my best because this year must be a different one.
Thanks for your time on my blog.
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