The past 14 months have been quite challenging for me. There were times I majorly capitulated with indecisions. It was like being speared by a thousand spikes, flying through the skies.
Generally, I've never been a pacy person, maybe it's my physical nature translating into my psychological state of mind. I tend to stutter while others are making haste, and I tend to procrastinate when others are getting things done.
I like to evaluate when others just want to get things done. Taking the "slow-pace" approach has come with its consequences
When life has mostly required speedy decision-making, I've been caught napping, trying to think too much of the first approach without realizing that time wasn't in my back pocket.
Having to make quick or instant life-or-death decisions haven't been my thing, I prefer going slow, taking my time, and weighing my options, because of this, I've lost a lot.
However, I know that loss is inevitable
even if the impact can vary. Losing indeed lays one back. It puts one in an uncomfortable position where they have to fight to regain everything. Sometimes, I feel myself swimming in these loopholes.
For example, we celebrate the wins we have gotten through hard work then lose it due to unfair circumstances, then get back into the mix, fighting to recover or acquire those wins again.
We're always fighting to make our positions comfortable, whether we're winning or losing. In fact, we are naturally wired to lose everything we're dying to have, but we still fight.
Some people are biologically set on losing positions. Nevertheless, in whatever positions we find ourselves in, we tend to fight, even if the outcome might be uncertain. That's who we are in life; irrespective of how we're built. Life doesn't recognize our previous trauma, weakness, strength, or level of preparedness.
If we cannot adjust, and find common grounds to keep going, then we'd be lost. People tend to grow or adjust to the reality they've been given. However, Adjustability might seem simple, on the surface, but one of the most difficult things about it (adjustability) is accepting life as it comes.
Seeing your reality as something that may never go away no matter how uncomfortable it might seem. I have a habit of creating my own conundrum, a place where I can mentally fillate all my issues.
Separate the problems I can solve with the ones I can only manage. Sometimes it feels like I might crumble under that impact, and the moment when I feel it's over, I see myself coming out, ragged and torn. Smiling again like nothing has happened.
Why?
The reason for this is that people are going through difficult times of their own and sometimes being the protagonist in one's story might make one overestimate what they're going through while downplaying the issues of others in the process.
We're built to be unique
no one can truly understand the pain of another person, no matter how similar it seems.
Nevertheless, we live in a world where other people are quick to think they understand the problems of others, they try to put themselves in that frame of mind without actually going through the physical pain process.
So because of this flaw in human understanding, telling people your issues will only raise awareness, and 90% of the time, this awareness changes nothing. We live in a world where people are berated for hurting because of things that are classified as "mundane".
One of the weirdest things about the way we're built is that we're made to experience the height of pain and pleasure. When these senses are activated, our responses or reactions are generally unpredictable.
There are experiences that people go through, they literally forget that life's worth living and wish they were dead. I used to laugh at people who think life's too sweet for them to commit suicide, but that's the thing.
The things we have seen are often used as prerequisites to judge the things we don't know. Sometimes people live too much in their world, never stepping out of that cocoon to experience what life truly is. There's no similar definition to what life truly is.
Some people have known only pain all their lives. Their definition of reality might seem negative, and even negatively perceived by others, nevertheless, we cannot truly know people, their experiences, and their pain, unless we "become" them.
Figuratively walking in the shoes of others is not enough to understand them. So because it's difficult to get others in the superlative frame of mind to understand our state, life will always function in a judgemental manner.
So, it's important to individually find your place of solace
We can never cope the same way. For example, I find it hard to accept that there are things I could do to improve my state of living that I wouldn't be able to do.
However, I have found a plausible way to accept my incapacitations. It's not completely airtight, but it works. I feel I don't need to fulfill all of life's prerequisites.
I have come to accept life as it seems, adjust myself to some certain believability, understand that I cannot please everyone, attach a certain spirituality to my existence, and do my best to live well and right.
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