January 2022, I was transferred from my district to another district. It was a big deal for my family. My baby was just 10 months old, we have just paid our rent and we just recently spent a lot of money on the site we were building. We didn't know what to do or how to go about it. My husband is also an employee who is not ready to quit his job and follow his wife, I on the other hand was not ready to let go of my stable job. so, I and my husband sat and discussed and we reached an agreement that I should go to the place I was posted to and resume there.
Image source
Now, we had things to tackle if I was to go there. the first thing to deal with was where I'll be staying. Going and coming back everyday was out of the question if anyone tries such he/she is just digging an early grave. so, hubby and I concluded that I will live with his cousin for few weeks before we get the money for the rent of a small accommodation over there, and I would have to come back home every weekend.
The next issue to be sorted was our children. what do we do about them? We also concluded that my 4 years old son would go to his grandma for the remaining weeks of the term while I go with the baby.
My husband called his cousin and she agreed that I could stay with her for the meantime. this was how our journey began. The stress was so much, I had to leave the house as early as possible every Monday morning and return home every Friday night. I started looking for accommodation as soon as possible because I was not comfortable at my husband's cousin's place, it was a small accommodation and I felt I was depriving her of her space. houses in that area was a bit expensive because we didn't have much then as a result of the things I stated earlier that we had done with our savings of the previous year.
Image source
The most stressful and painful part of all was after seeing an accommodation that I think is okay they will then ask if I was the one that wants to live there and when I answer in the affirmative they will say they are no longer giving out the space or they will just give one stupid excuse just to discharge me. this happened not once, not twice about four different occasions. This made me miserable. There was no time left. I needed to settle down so that my son can start school, my husband's cousin had already started complaining. I was really angry. Then, a male colleague at work told me that I may not get accommodation on time. I asked why and he told me because I am a woman. I was confused, he said that the landlord may think I'm not married and they may not want to give the apartment to an unmarried lady believing she may be bringing men to the house or something. The excuse was so lame, why can't a single lady or divorced lady get her own accommodation since she has her own money? what is wrong if she wants to live on her own? must there be a man in the picture before a lady can rent a decent accommodation? is that idea meaningful or nonsense?
Image source
The next accommodation I saw was a bit small and has not been completed. Before any talks or any bargain I just told the landlord point blank "I'm the one that wants to take this accommodation and my husband does not live here I am only here for a while until I'm able to work on my transfer back to my district". He said he was fine with it with the condition that I was going to use my money to complete the little things left in the house. I just accepted quickly before the man change his mind. before the house could be fixed, my husband's cousin had already kicked us out. I cried like a baby that day. That was what I went through because I was a woman.
I think we should have grown pass this level. Things like this should not even be heard anymore. If a lady can make her own money she should be allowed to own her space. Must a woman be married before she can leave her parents house?
If I were to stop all forms of discrimination, I would make sure anyone reported is charged to court and be made to pay an exorbitant amount. This will make people think twice before acting against the other gender.
This post was inspired by Hive learners community weekly featured contents on the topic: Gender discrimination.
Thanks for reading me.