9

(NSFW)
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“How dare you try to leave me!” Frank’s voice sounded. He ripped Tanya’s shirt off and pulled her against him. His mouth devoured her breast, kissing at first, but then biting – hard… as if trying to tear off one of her glories of womanhood.

“You really thought your black hair was going to fool me?!” he shouted, using a knife to cut her pants off her, not caring that he nicked her in several places as he did.

“You’re going to give me what I deserve as your husband!” he shouted, pulling her against him harder, his throbbing manhood pounding deep into her body.

“When I’m done with you, I’m going to kill you!” he growled, his hands around her neck constricting her airways as he assaulted her insides from behind.

She was about to die…
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Tanya awoke gasping for breath.

The dream had been far too real, Frank raping her as he liked to do when he was drunk. He had never tried to strangle her, but now that she had left, who knew what he was capable of!

Tanya broke down into sobs. She was free! Free of Frank! But he had been real in her dream. Far too real!

She shook as she sobbed.

“Are you okay?” Therese asked from the door.

“He said my hair wouldn’t fool him! He said he would kill me!” Tanya replied, shaking.

Therese joined her and held her in her arms. “He can’t find you here, and he certainly won’t find you in Swan Valley!”

“Are we truly going to be safe?”

“Yes!”

“He always threatened me when he was drunk. I always gave him what he needed, let him use my body even when it hurt me. It was never up to me – always him. I froze most of the time though – he never seemed to realize that I didn’t make love to him back!”

“I’m sorry,” Therese replied, stroking her back. “Maybe someday, a lovely native man from Swan Valley will show you what love is meant to be like.”

“Do you think it’s possible? To be truly loved?”

“Yes… I am sure it’s possible!”

“But you’re not married now, Therese.”

“I’m not a romantic like you. I gave up on finding love. Now, you go back to sleep and think about all the Native men you’re going to meet… especially the one you’re going to want to take to your bed with you – who will create a little brown baby with you...”

Tanya found herself blushing.

“What is it with you white people anyway?! You seem to have forgotten what the purpose is of sharing love!”

“You are white – as white as me.”

“It’s an attitude,” Therese explained. “You are as white as you want to be. My soul is brown, not white. That’s why I remain in Blackfoot – these are my people now.”

Therese got up. “Do you need a nightlight?” she asked.

“Maybe,” Tanya replied, hating the very idea.

“Nightmares and flashbacks are a normal part of recovery,” Therese explained, turning on a little light in the corner. “This will help you remember where you are – here… not with your abuser.”

“Thanks,” she said, settling down again. As Therese left her, Tanya tried to focus on the idea of a man with long black hair and brown skin holding her close to him, kissing her, making sweet love to her – everything that Frank had not.

♥

Sunday, March 8
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The morning sun shone into the window, awakening Tanya. Again, she had slept late. She remembered how Frank would have scolded her for not doing her duty to the family. She needed to be up earlier and make a different breakfast every day to keep variety in their lives.

She sighed, then realized that she smelled pancakes and maple syrup. The second breakfast in a row she did not have to make! Her stomach grumbled loudly.

She dressed quickly in the fresh clothes she’d bought the previous day. A t-shirt and jeans were good enough for another day on the road.

Tanya packed her things quickly, then emerged from the room, to find breakfast.

“Did you sleep well?” Freya asked cheerfully.

Tanya looked at Therese. Evidently, Freya wasn’t aware of her nightmare. “Well enough,” Tanya replied, which was true enough.

“You don’t have to share even one moment of your past life with anyone until you are ready,” Therese replied, clearly understanding what she hadn’t said. “We understand, don’t we, Freya?”

“Of course,” Freya replied warmly.

“Where’s Tiger Lily?” Tanya asked, missing the slight, brown young woman.

“She took Jasmine to church,” Therese replied. “You could go if you wanted.”

“No thanks,” Tanya replied, not wanting to add that it was the last place she’d feel comfortable just now.

“Just as well,” Freya said. “We have another long day ahead of us, but tonight, you’ll be in Swan Valley.”

“Is it okay to be scared?” Tanya asked.

“Of course. But I loved my time in Swan Valley. You’ll love it too, I’m sure,” Therese reassured. “You will have time to rediscover yourself.”

“Rediscover?”

“When you are abused, your true self is squashed and mangled and broken. It takes time, including some exploration, to figure out who you are again. It’s like a second adolescence.”

“Oh dear,” Tanya quipped.

Therese laughed.

“Some women do have to go through the painful parts as well,” Freya replied. “It depends on how well you found yourself before you met your abuser.”

“Makes sense. I’m not sure I can answer that question though.”

“That’s okay,” Freya replied. “Your most important task when you’re at Swan Valley is to work out who you are. Before you do that, it would be unwise to become attached to any man again.”

Tanya ate her fill of the pancakes, washing it down with orange juice and coffee. She would need it to stay awake today. Somehow her sleep had been less than restful. Even after her nightmare, her dreams wouldn’t let her sleep too deeply.

Soon, everything and everyone was packed back into the minivan with a fresh allotment of snacks and food.

“Tell Dancing Bear ‘hi’ from me,” Therese requested. “She knows me as Moon Dancer because I prefer to stay up late.”

“I will,” Tanya promised.

“Tell her that Tiger Lily and Jasmine continue to do well here.”

“Okay.”

“Find out who you are… and have a happy life!” Therese added, giving Tanya a hug. “Until we meet again.”

Tanya felt sad to leave her new friends behind. She wondered about Tiger Lily as Freya put the minivan into gear.

♥♥♥