What a find! Priceless! I congratulated myself on finding a lifelike portrait of a young woman drinking coffee. The color scheme fitted so well in my living room and just as I was about to hang it up my hands felt a slight bulge at the back of the portrait. I looked closely there was a neatly folded, yellowing silk cloth, taped to the back of the portrait.
It was a letter written perhaps to the woman in the portrait, a letter by the artist himself.
Darling Sylvia,
I don't know where to begin, all I know is that I need to express what is in my heart. I believe you have a right to know as this is all about you. I have fallen totally and hopelessly in love with you in the last few weeks while I painted your portrait. Every minute you sat there and posed for the portrait only made me more and more aware of how deeply I was falling in love with you.
After I completed your portrait in utter desperation I flung the brushes into the bucket as if the action would magically take my mind off you. My hands soiled with hours of painting needed to be soaked like the brushes in a bucket of turpentine. I could get the paint off my hands but what of the pain in my heart? My sigh grows deeper, it comes in fits and starts. If human sounds could paint pain and hopelessness my sighs do just that. Those finishing touches I put to your portrait were strokes of untainted love.
The conversations we've had have been so enchanting and they have formed a chain in my mind and refuse to leave me alone. Your simplicity and your genuine warmth have endeared your lovely soul to mine so much so that I find it impossible to dismiss this as a mere business association.
I've wondered so often why you wanted to be painted with that coffee mug in your slender hands? Was that to show that you were as intoxicating as the rich aroma of coffee, your astute sharpness as invigorating as the drink and your soul pure unadulterated bliss like a steaming cup of coffee?
I have met many women before as a portrait artist, richly clothed, nude, provocatively dressed, name it and I have seen it, but I have seen none like you. I saw beyond the surface, I had a glimpse of your soul and I knew you were the one for me. The light that shone through your eyes, the joy the spread through your smile and the love that filled the room when those gentle words left your mouth have all enslaved my soul to yours.
I never wanted this day to arrive. I didn't want this day to end. I hate this day as much as I loved it. This day is the beginning of the end. Will I ever see your face again? Will I hear your voice or see the light in your eyes as the smile on your lips spread across your face? Oh cursed day, why were you birthed from the depth of the night?
Have you ever experienced the pain of loving someone and not being able to let them know how you feel? It is pure torture from the pit of hell itself. Worse still is the pain of knowing that the one you love is someone you can never have.
How will I live through all this? Somehow everyday when you were sitting there on that couch and posing for the portrait, the thought that you can never be mine never surfaced in my mind. I just enjoyed the moment and lived it like there was no tomorrow.
Did you feel anything at all towards me? Did I imagine it? Was there something in that smile, in that lingering look that you gave me as you left the studio for the day? Please tell me that what I saw was true. I know that there is no deceit in you, but do I deceive myself?
Never for a moment did I feel lonely when you left the studio at the end of the day in all those weeks. Your eyes looked back at me from the canvas and smiled at me. Your lips spoke words that only my heart could hear and our conversations were endless. Today a huge part of me will leave with this portrait.
There are more questions than answers in my mind. Was this whole thing a dream? No, I have this portrait to attest to the fact that you were real. Oh why did I fall in love? In love with someone I know will soon be in the arms of the richest merchant in town. He will clothe you will the priciest pearls and richest satin while all I have is my dreams and my paints. Would you ever want this instead?
I am a dreamer and a fool, I know. I want you to know someday that you were loved, not for your beauty nor for your wealth but your soul. The connection I felt from the moment my eyes met yours will never end. I hope you will someday find this letter and read it and know my heart. I have not the courage to tell you of my love or the heart to spoil your future by asking you to trade a life of comfort for a life of pain and hardship.
My fate is sealed in this letter hidden behind the portrait. My soul will always be sealed with yours.
Your admirer and the lover of your soul
Ralph Vermont