En garde!
Cuthbert side-stepped, teetering close to the outer rim. The world swayed back and forth. He peered over the edge. It was a long way down to the counter and he was certain it would hurt!
He turned to face his nemesis.
Not so brave now, are you?
Titus sneered as he flicked another jibe.
Look, Titus! This is futile.
Cuthbert pleaded, ever conscious of the boiling waters beneath.
Whatever our differences, Dave will never change. He will never choose you!
Who says?
A brand spanking new Coffee Master 5000 20-in-1 says, that's who!
Cutherbert retorted, rolling his eyes. This cyclical repartee between them was never-ending.
You don't think he spent a month's wages on that thing so he could sit back and sip Chai latte, do you?
Titus looked at the shiny new contraption taking up real estate. What the hell was Dave thinking? Titus hated the bothersome bean with every environmentally-friendly jealous fibre of his pyramid-shaped being, but Cuthbert had a point!
You might as well stop this absurd charade, pack yourself away... for like... poncy British guests...
Cuthbert rolled with laughter.
Titus saw red!!!
Guests!!! You are nuts! I deserve better! I am Chai. Do you even appreciate what that means?
Well technically, I'm a bean, not a nut...
Cuthbert smirked. He loved winding Titus up.
Ouch!
Cuthbert ducked, his hand going to his ear. He sniffed at the powder traces on his fingers. Hmm... roasted to perfection! He sighed, mmm... he did smell good!
Getting spicy, are we? You nicked my ear, moron!
Mate, you ain't seen nothing - I'm coming for you! Tonight this ends! If I get rid of you, Dave will have no choice but to relax this evening with the sweet aroma of cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, and ginger.
The bean and the teabag continued to duel around the rim of the pot, both becoming more fatigued.
Truce... five minutes?
Cuthbert gasped.
They sat staring at each other from opposite sides of the pot. Cuthbert gazed down, noticing a few things which had escaped him before. Little details like... where the hell had this pot come from? It hadn't been here this morning when Dave had his morning cup. It hadn't been here after the mid-afternoon espresso.
So where did this thing come from anyway?
Titus asked bluntly.
This brewing pot! Never seen it before in my life. But... it doesn't look brand new either! So... how did it get here?
At that moment, the front door opened, the sound of feet marched to the kitchen and then... the door clicked shut again softly.
Well that's odd! Who else is here?
Titus looked at Cuthbert, one eyebrow raised.
"Hey Honey, you can pop your stuff in the lounge. Make yourself at home."
Dave entered the kitchen as his voice trailed off.
Titus and Cuthbert stared at each other, mouthing the word in disbelief.
"I used my app to put your pot on to boil as we parked up, so the water should be the right temperature for your brew."
The doorbell rang.
"I'll get it!" An unfamiliar feminine voice called out from the living room.
More footsteps and voices. An album was placed on the turntable. Dave was classy like that. He might turn his gadgets on from his apps but still refused to move on from the deep warm sounds of perfection that emanated from the concentric circles of his 12-inch Vinyl collection.
Cuthbert and Titus stared at each other.
A party! Of course, it was New Year's Eve!
As the party warmed up, Titus and Cuthbert resumed their belligerent engagement - trading insults and blows.
You're a nasty piece of work, Titus.
You only think I'm evil cos we're different! If I was a coffee bean, you would never treat me like this!
Cuthbert cocked his head, considering Titus' statement. Titus seemed forlorn... almost... likable?
No... he's trying to catch me off-guard!
With sparks flying off the steel, Amber (Honey) sauntered into the kitchen. Titus and Cuthbert collapsed in a heap.
Oh! What do we have here? The pot didn't switch off. Ah, Dave forgot to close the lid...
As Amber leaned in, Titus and Cuthbert stared wide-eyed at each other.
*Now, why won't it close? ah, a tea bag blocking the hinge...
And with that, Amber tossed the bag into the depths of the broiling cauldron. The pyramid-shaped bag spun through the air clinging onto Cuthbert for dear life. As they sunk deep into the rolling waters below, the inside of the pot lid closed in on their lives.
Cuthbert? Are you still there?
Titus's anxiety was palpable. Cuthbert wondered if he should let him stew.
Cuthbert, please! Are you ok?
... yeah I'm fine.
Cuthbert muttered.
Oh thank goodness, I don't know what I'd do if you were gone!
"Dave, the brew is ready!"
Amber sang as she opened the lid of the cauldron and poured 2 steaming mugs of golden elixir.
"Cheers," she said as she handed one to Dave.
Dave smiled as he took a long sip. "Wow, Amber, this is incredible! It tastes like my Peruvian coffee roast... but better... It's coffee with a strong hint of chai! What on earth? That's just magical!"
"Well, it is a Magic Cauldron Dave! - it promises the best cuppa every single time!"
With that Amber ushered Dave out of the kitchen towards their guests before returning for a brief moment to open the lid, fish out one bedraggled-looking pyramid-shaped teabag and a single coffee bean, and dropped them onto a saucer to dry out.
"Don't think I didn't notice you two earlier," she chuckled. Now thank your lucky stars that I'm a friendly witch... " With that, she flung her hair back and bounced out of the kitchen.
Cuthbert and Titus stared open-mouthed at each other. They could hear the countdown on the television set and then the onset of Auld Lang Syne.
Um. Cuthbert...?
Yeah, Titus.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year, Titus.
Resources:
This is my entry to the Cinnamon Cup Coffee #spillthebeans fiction challenge about a good coffee bean, an evil teabag, and a magic pot - at a New Year's Eve party. (999 word count)
Header image created in Midjourney AI using word prompts.
Dreemport banner used with permission of @dreemsteem and @dreemport and designed by @jimramones
