He looked at the cup of coffee he held in his trembling hands, it was Christmas and Leonardo was alone again. It was not the first time he had been miserable at Christmas, for he had been celebrating it like this for more than a decade. Leonardo had not been a good man with his parents, nor with his siblings, nor with the woman who was his wife, much less with his children. And the years he had been carrying were filled with anger and resentment.
He went to the kitchen to pour another pot of the delicious coffee he had bought on his last trip to Jamaica, stumbling a couple of times, as he had a habit of putting some whiskey in his cup. He did not pour the liquor in a glass, as anyone would do, because Leonardo loved to fool himself; that way he had avoided his mistakes all his life, but inevitably they intoxicated him inside as well as the whiskey he tried to hide behind the coffee.
In his player the voice of Johnny Cash could be heard, and through the window the colorful and twinkling lights of the apartment across the street were coming in. When Leonardo returned to the living room couch he saw a young man sitting in the chair in front of him. He was impressed but didn't show it, he stared at the boy for a few seconds and realized, it was the same as when he was young. He couldn't believe it, he shook his head and looked at the floor, but when he looked at the chair again there was his young version looking at him excitedly.
-I can't believe I made it to this age, I never thought I would live this long," said the young man proudly.
Leonardo just looked at him while he sipped his cup. He felt a lot of self-hatred, he had not realized it, but this encounter with himself was helping him to identify how much he despised himself.
-You have to tell me everything, did you graduate? did you get married? did you have children? what great things have you done in all these years? - his younger self asked hastily.
-Great things you say? - Leonardo laughed out loud - I'll tell you what we have done, we graduated, we worked in very important positions, we left our family after years of mistreatment. But overall we have done well.
The boy was disappointed, on the other hand old Leonardo was pleased to hurt himself.
-So that's it? You're here on Christmas night all alone, and your family? - claimed the boy.
-I like to spend the holidays like this, I don't need anyone - answered Leonardo with an annoyed voice.
-That's not true - replied the boy - you can fool everyone, but not me, I know how you feel inside, have you forgotten that I'm you?
Leonardo felt hurt, he had years of not identifying the pain inside him. This relieved him, for he had long felt like an empty body. He began to laugh out loud, he thought that maybe he had had too much whiskey, because what was in front of him could not be more than a vision.
-What are you, the spirit of Christmas past?
-Of course not Leonardo - answered the young man while his voice sounded more and more mature - I am nothing more than your conscience, you project me with the appearance you had in your youth, because at that time was when your life was less rotten.
-And what do you want? That I should repent? That I should ask for forgiveness? What's done is done.
-No, said Leonardo's conscience, which was beginning to lose its human form and to get lost in the gloom of the room, "I came to tell you to call them, even a miserable old man like you deserves to spend Christmas with company.
Leonardo was impressed, he didn't want to admit it but he was moved. He looked around and saw his darkened living room, he felt an enormous sadness for himself. He got up slowly with his coffee cup in his hand, walked to the phone and dialed his son's number, he still remembered him after so many years without calling. Someone answered on the other end:
-Hello? Who is it? - It was his son's voice.
Leonardo got excited, he wanted to answer but the joy went through his chest almost like a pain. On the other side his son heard the agitated breathing and realized immediately that it was Leonardo.
-Dad? I know it's you old man, please tell me something.
Leonardo was paralyzed, the coffee cup slipped from his hand and fell to the floor shattering into pieces.
-I know you won't say anything, pride has always won you over, but you should know that no matter what happened dad, your family loves you. Have a merry Christmas, old man.
Leonardo's son hung up the phone with his eyes full of tears. Leonado did not hear anything, his body lay dead next to the phone, after a heart attack stopped his heart.
Original content by the author.
Resources: Tablet ZTE E10Q
Manipulated images from Pixabay
image/source
Translated with Deepl.com
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