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The day was going great. I had been ignoring a lot of things up on till now. The late nights, the secret phone calls, the silent treatment. I had no idea what the problem could be but I assumed that when he was calm enough, he’d tell me.
Right now, I’m stirring my first cup of coffee for the day when he just says,
“We need to stop buying coffee.”
He doesn’t even look at me when he says it, all buttoned up in his white shirt. A shirt I diligently ironed and the tie that’s crookedly knotted at his collar. I used to knot his tie but he doesn’t seem to want me close to him lately.
He slaps the newspaper on the table and brings the steaming cup to his mouth when I manage to find my tongue.
“What?”
My voice is hoarse. I’m not even fully awake yet. I’m sure I heard him wrong. Then he repeats himself,
“I said no more coffee. We need to cut down on a lot of things. Coffee one of them. Start buying bags of tea or something…” he trailed off, eyes fixated on his cellphone. That’s all he’s been doing lately. His cellphone.
“And why exactly do I have to stop taking coffee?”
He lifts his head to look at me for the first time since I stepped into the room. There are bags under his eyes and I know for sure he is stressed about something. He just wouldn’t tell me.
“We did agree to buy a house this year. Remember?”
I do. But what does that have to do with anything?
“I don’t think cutting down on coffee will help. You know how I get when I don’t have coffee in the morning.”
My cup beckons me and I respond, letting the flavor and bitterness of its content sooth my grogginess. The day suddenly looks brighter from where I stand. This is what my husband wants me to give up?
His eyes are still on me by the time I drop the cup but he quickly averts them when I gaze back at him. There’s a faint blush on his cheeks. Reminds me of high school, when he asked me to prom. He had that same look on his face. Shy.
“What is it?”
He clears his throat, concentrated on his cellphone,
“Nothing. Coffee is quite expensive. Especially the type you like. If we are going to materialize the goal we set for this year, then no more coffee.”
I’m speechless. I’m angry. I’m calm.
I stare down at the black liquid before me, biting my tongue to prevent me from spewing profanities at the man before me.
“Richard,”
“Mm?” He looked at me
“Who drives to work?”
His eyes bounced around the room, “Me.”
“Who pays gym subscription?”
He is hesitant to answer but he does, “Me.”
“Who shoulders his sister’s expenses even though she has a very capable husband?”
He is quiet, no longer looking at me.
“I could go on and on about a lot of things we can cut down without coffee being in the mix and all that has to do with you. I don’t even leave the house. We agreed I work from home and you go out due to the nature of your job. Now you want to us to drop coffee?”
He opens his mouth but I raise my hand. I’m done ignoring his unreasonable behavior.
“What’s with you anyway?”, I began, “You’ve changed. You come home late, toss around in bed, leave without as much as a kiss goodbye, come home with a long face, not in the mood to talk. Always on your phone, leaving the room to take calls…”
He stands to his feet and the sun from the window meets his face. There are lines on his face I hadn’t noticed before now. He really is stressed.
“What is going on?” I asked in a hushed whisper because I’m honestly frightened of his answer. He’d never be unfaithful to me. Not Richard.
He is in front of me and holding both hands before I can say more. His chocolate browns sincere as they’ve always been.
“Ana. I’m sorry. I did not mean to make you feel this way. I had no idea I was even doing it.”
“There’s a reason you’d act that way with me Richard. Something is going on.”
“I lost my job.”
My heart drops. “What?”
“I couldn’t tell you considering the plans we had for the year. I’ve been applying to new firms. I’ll get a new job. Promise. I did not want to burden you.”
I cup his face and stare into his eyes, “you will never burden me sweetheart. We are in this together. I was going to tell you that I got a promotion later. So, more pay.”
Fine lines appear around his eyes when he smiles, “I’m proud of you, love.”
“And I of you. I guess we’d have to really cut out coffee.” I shrugged. It’ll hurt but I’ll get used to it.
He shakes his head, “no. You keep your coffee. I like coffee too. We’d cut down on everything else. You were right about my sister. That nonsense has to stop. No more Starbucks though.”
“No more cable tv?”
He is contemplative, unconsciously stroking my hair.
“You’ll be bored.”
“I can manage. I’ll help you send applications too. Do we agree to cut down on gym?”
“We have a treadmill anyway and night walks.” He said and drew me closer by the waist.
My hands go around his neck as we share a kiss.
“I have to go submit my resume to some companies I outlined today. I’ll be back in time for dinner.” He kisses me again.
“Okay. We’ll do just fine.” I tell him to which he nods and kisses my forehead before picking up his suit jacket, car keys and cellphone, walking out the front door.
