It is already alarming me with this kind of problem that I am facing every single day.
Yesterday my parents cooked this bland dish of steamed Tilapia with a filling of some tomatoes and onion, first is that it doesn't taste good, then it is lacking of salt. The only way for me to eat it is to have some coffee to push the food down to my stomach. That is the way I would usually eat my foods because it is hard to swallow foods that you cannot eat.
Then the weird thing is that they gave me a piece of banana which is cold, I mean it came from the refrigerator and almost frozen. You do not normally put bananas inside the refrigerator, who does that? I hope that it is not a sign of dementia for my parents because I needed them more than ever. I can't afford them to get sick because I am totally dependent about their assistance and at the same time I could not totally rely on my own siblings too in getting things done for me.
Then I do not want to order food from the internet around my area, it will get expensive if I do it everyday plus the factor of appetite loss will also not make me enjoy eating anyway, it is frustrating and depressing, I am already like a walking skeleton and it is very noticeable. I know it is bad but what can I do, I run-out of options of what to do, it is my system that has the problem, I do not know its origins so I cannot solve it.
Even with this kind of health issue that I am living in a day to day basis, I still have dreams to achieve but if I would die I want it to be quick and not a lingering death which is a reason why I kept on coming for dialysis so it would not happen to me. I also do not want to die alone but it is an ever present possibility because my parents are already in their 70's, the average lifespan of most people here on earth, could be longer if you can afford a proper health care and it includes having some money to patch your needs whenever there is an emergency to get your health back to running normally again.
The struggle is real, it is always here
