To contemplate life, there's need for solitude, for the silence necessary to properly listen . Yet these silences have a way of speaking to you and telling you things about yourself you didn't know . It is strange what life can mean to you when you're far from social pressures, alone with your thoughts; dark or light.
But is loneliness not something we try very hard to avoid? Do we not welcome people into our lives just so we won't sleep alone, eat alone, listen to the rain alone? Have you spoken out loud to yourself before, talking as if someone listens? Do you feel sad? Have you spent a week in your home without a word leaving your lips, it almost feels as if you have forgotten language the next time you're among people? I have. I have heard the hum of my wrist, the crackle of hair follicles. And I have wept difficult tears. I too want to be somebody to someone. I too want the solitude of love.
Do you know that feeling of a private world, whose language only you and your lover understands? Do you understand the solitude in just being there, in your lover's eyes, being seen, being heard, being felt? It is as if you're finally living. It is as if you've died and only one person hears you speak.
To contemplate life requires solitude, the silence that your heart brings when its beat syncs with the world around you and you look up and there, love in all its fragile forms, staring down at you, asking you if you want to be held. And yes, you want to be held even though you're strong enough. You want to be fragile because its hard being strong all the time and strong breaks sometimes and won't it be nice for there to be someone to catch those pieces?
Is there a difference between solitude and loneliness? Obviously. I want solitude. I don't want to be lonely. Is this a difficult dream? Maybe. Maybe we're blessed truly, who are poor in spirit.