Three Pizza Stories/Jokes

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For these accounts, I @nevies, would be playing the part of an incorrigible pizza addict.


I was told that my alma mater UNN performed badly in the ongoing University games and I was wondering why but couldn't seem to come up with anything.

Then today while passing by I saw some of the boys that participated in the games and I had a little talk with them. Soon they said they have to go that they "want to go grab something to eat". So they shook my hands and I let them go.

I now moved to continue my journey to my house but on second thought I stopped and decided to watch them and see the restaurant that they will enter to eat. So I watch them, they walk to the buildings where restaurants where and I see them going towards the pizza joint and I opened my eyes even wider. They keep going close to the pizza spot, closer and closer and just when they were real near, they divert and go into a different restaurant where they sell spaghetti and other nonsenses. And I shake my head in utter dismay, no wonder they performed badly in the University games.


FACEBOOK GIRL: I saw u in my street today.
ME: Really?
ME: What's the name of ur street?
FACEBOOK GIRL: fghjurhhghyfjjhg
ME: You said what?
FACEBOOK GIRL: klpffgbjgrghr
ME: Are u sure it was me u saw?
ME: Hmm. What could I have been doing there? Wait, is there a pizza spot in your street?
ME: Arrgh! Ok, do there at least used to be one that closed recently?
ME: WTF! Then I can say with every certainty that I wasn't the one you saw, you're either mistaking me for someone else or I have an unknown look-alike out there, because there's no way I'd be on a street like that.
FACEBOOK GIRL: [Sends a photo of me she snapped when I walked by]
ME: [Panics. Blocks her]



Today I bought a carton of uncooked noodles after I haven't done this in months. All the while I had been satisfying my noodle needs at a small restaurant by the corner and as I passed by that corner with my carton of noodles, I looked at the owner of the restaurant seated outside, and I could see the sorrow in his eyes, dude knows he won't be seeing me in his shop again as I'll now be taking care of my own noodles issues by myself. A minute of sympathy for him.

I can't help but think of the pizza joint in my street where I am the major customer, I'm thinking the day I'll call the oven makers, buy the raw materials I need to make my own pizza and let the owner of my street's pizza spot know, that day there would be mourning and gnashing of teeth in the household of the owner of that pizza spot. I shudder at the thought of bringing them that much tragedy (sign of the cross).

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All Gifs are Giphy's

A similar can be found on my Facebook wall.


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