Islam is Serious about the promise of multiple virgins in the Afterlife

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Hey friends, who is ready to secure for themselves a band of virgins in the afterlife? I don't know about you, but I am is ready โœŒ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Ž

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Many of us may have heard about the promise of 72 virgins made to Islamic matyrs and we think it is a joke or that it is just something made up by recruiters to get volunteers for terrorist operations. But, dear friend, I tell you it is not a joke, it is actually written in the highest Islam authority - the Quran!

If you didn't know this, for many years I was just like you, thinking it was a joke and stuff how can God promise people pussy in the afterlife? Ignorant fool that I am, o didn't know! But this didn't change God's mind (may God be praised), the promise is still there unchanged, in the Holy Quran. Here are the verses if you want to confirm for yourself:

Quran Surah 56 verse 12-40 and Quran Surah 55 verses 54-56

And since I am your brother in fucks arms, let me go ahead and quote it for you 56 vs 12-39 says:

They shall recline on jewelled couches face to face, and there shall wait on them immortal youths with bowls and ewers and a cup of purest wine (that will neither pain their heads nor take away their reason); with fruits of their own choice and flesh of fowls that they relish. And theirs shall be the dark-eyed maidens, chaste as hidden pearls: a guerdon for their deeds... We created the maidens and made them virgins, loving companions for those on the right hand...

In simple clearer language:

Those who go to heaven shall recline on jewelled couches face to face, and immortal youths (servants) shall wait on them and give them bowls and ewers and a cup of purest wine (that will neither pain their heads nor take away their reason); with fruits of their own choice and and flesh of fowls that they relish. And the darkeyed maidens shall be theirs, chaste as hidden pearls: a reward for their deeds... We created the maidens and made them virgins, loving companions for those who go to heaven...

Stay with me here, please, remember our concern is the latter part of the text that says:

And the darkeyed maidens shall be theirs, chaste as hidden pearls: a reward for their deeds... We created the maidens and made them virgins, loving companions for those who go to heaven...

Praise God, somebody!
I said praise God, somebody!!!!!!!!

So you see it there? Islam is serious about this, it is from the Holy Book, the very word of God. You can Google out these verses if you think I'm overzealous or pulling your legs (by the way, fuck would I be doing with your legs when my sights are set to that of multiple darkeyed virgins in heaven?๐Ÿ™„).

However there is one little thing, I also found out that the number of virgins are not specified anywhere in the Quran, no one knows if they are 72 or not. But if I've learnt anything from life so far it is that 'you never know, motherfucker!' the fact that the number isn't specified doesn't mean it would be less than 72, it could even be more! 'you never know, motherfucker!'

So there you have it, I used to irreligious/atheistic but now I'm converting and becoming Muslim, nothing is going to make me miss out on a multiple amount of darkeyed loving virgins. And I mean NOTHING!

Being a member of the English speaking parts of the world you'd think that if I leave irreligiosity/atheism I'd become a Christian (since most of the English and Spanish and Portuguese world are Christians) but nope! Surprise, surprise, I'm going to Islam. Because in all my years of reading the Bible I never came across the promise of virgins. Jesus had a lot to say you would think that atleast once he would say:

Verily verily I say unto you, I have set aside a couple bad bitches for you if you make it to heaven.

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but he never said so, not even once! So what would I be doing in a religion like that? Probably why his home boy Judas sold him ๐Ÿ™„.

Alright, friends, that's it, I'm moving to Islam. You would do well to address me as Alhaji Nevies from now on, or maybe Mallam Nevies. Any whichever. Remain blessed! Praise be to God.

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PS: Every religion has its own ridiculous parts. The way you laugh at that of others is the way others laugh at yours. Everybody looks at the ridiculousness of their religion and calls them mysteries or says 'God's ways are not our ways', but they go ahead to laugh at that of others and call them ridiculous๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ


Roll with @nevies, I run a Humor, deeper thoughts and sex talk blog here on Hive๐ŸŒš

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