The above image is a screenshot of the notepad in my phone.
As I go about the day, random thoughts do bump into my head, I believe it do happen to everyone. What I usually do at those moments is to quickly pull out my mobile phone and scribble the thought on its notepad. If I have the time, I can even go ahead to develop the thought into an article.
When I want to make a post here or anywhere else, I simply revert to my notepad to pick out the article I feel oblige to post at that very moment.
Voila! a post is ready.
Sometimes I do read what I have previously written without feeling it. As a result, that particular post would be voided. I might void many others before eventually settling for one. Other times I might even void everything I have carefully jotted down in the course of the day and rather opt for a feelstora.
Ever heard of that word feelstora?
I wouldn't blame you if you haven't. I learned of it for the first time just few minutes ago. It is rated as an uncommon word. You wouldn't find it in many English dictionaries. Infact it is not present in my phone dictionary neither is it recognized by the AI of my device. When I typed it in here, I got that blue line under it, which is an indication that something is possibly wrong with my spellings.
Hello author correct, ain't nothin' wrong with my spellings. It is what it is, feelstora. You feel me?
So what does it mean?
Feelstora is a noun that means a story that is heavily influenced by the author's emotional state at the time of its writing.
So when I said that sometimes I do opt for a feelstora, I meant that sometimes I'd rather write a post based on the way I'm feeling at that particular time instead of posting what I had earlier written. Feel me?
That was the case 20 days ago. Having earlier spent time with my kid sister, I was on the brim of failing to keep to my resolution of making at least a post a day in this month. Promises are big deal to me. Promises, even if it's only to myself is what I don't take lightly. I always do my utmost to see it done. On that night I tried many articles that I have already penned down, non was working for me.
I reverted to narrating what transpired between I and my little sister while we were together earlier in the day. I went further to reflect on a question she asked me in an attempt to keep me a little longer, after I might have told her that I need to go and update my blog for the day.
"The question was, must you do it everyday?"
After making that post which was solely based on how I felt at that particular time, I slept a bit since the post was published just few minutes before midnight in Nigeria, I woke up some hours later to over sixty comments. My goodness! I have never had such here, it was so so exciting. Infact I have never had anything close.
Prior to that day, the highest engagement I have ever had, was on my introductory post, which is quite understandable, considering the fact that I had a family, courtesy of the former blogging space I was in. Many of my family members were here already, so they were delighted to have me. I've also notice that people are keen to welcome newbies, especially for someone like me, who first sought for all newbies related post to announce my entrance in the comment box while surreptitiously soliciting for support.
There are people who can go far for newbies, just to see them established, but as soon as you're perceived to be doing well on your own, you'll cease from being their concern. Quite fair!
Even if you are not doing well, you can't be babysat forever! noway!.
That is why I will counsel that when you have people coming around you, not necessarily because of the quality content you create, but mainly to support you and make you stand, that's the time to get some of them hooked by being on top of your game, while also building your own unique audience. That is, people your contents resonates with; people who knows you from nowhere but still visit your blog because they feel that you have something to offer them. The earlier that is done, the better.
What led to the 60+ comments on that fateful day was that @wil.metcalfe stumbled on my post and he lighted a spark, in his words. He tagged as many interested fellows as possible.
It wasn't just the many comments and the nice feedbacks that I got that worked the magic for me, it was rather the quality of the comments. Almost every comment gave me thoughts I'd love to reflect on and someday write on.
There was a question by @flaxz that really got to me.
He asked, "what is your main reason for blogging in the first place, what is your core drive to keep doing it?"
After reading that question, my brain went blank for a while. "why do I write? Why do I want to keep doing it?"
You know when you think that you've figured everything out, only to be dumbfounded when confronted with a simple question? I bet, some of us might stammer a bit if I asked of our identity.
Okay; who are you? 😀
After being confronted by flaxz's question, I did a quick brainstorming.
I would've love to say that I write to motivate, but that wouldn't be a complete truth because that's not all I do. I'm interested in self development, yet I'm not sure how many of my posts are about that. I love sharing my perspective on issues, but is that the core reason I write? Many thoughts popped up in my head.
Just then I realized that I write to simply express myself.*
Photo by Jenny Uhling from Pexels
I believe that I am piece of nature's awesomeness. I therefore need to reflect my awesomeness by simply giving my unique touch to subjects.
At this stage of my life I am more interested in being expressive than any other thing.
Trust me; I no longer wanna admire someone and never get tell the person. I no longer want to have an idea without developing it because of fear of what people will think. I no longer want to keep shut, because I'm not sure of how my English accent will be perceived, neither do I want to stop writing until I become grammatically perfect.
I love developing myself, I believe I could be better and I should be, but while on the journey of becoming a better me, I will keep doing what I can and in the way I can.
My story shouldn't be that of a man that had songs that weren't sung, books that weren't published, or stories that weren't told.
My story shouldn't be that of a man that had dreams that were but a nightmare, visions that weren't actualize, or that of journeys that were never embarked on.
My stories shouldn't be that of a life that was never lived.
No I don't want to have stories of what would've been which never came to be.
I wanna express me.
I wanna simply live.
I'm @mmykel and this why I do what I do.
This is why I write. How about you?