I'm getting a loan....
What?! What did he just say? What about the loans he got and is yet to clear up? What about debts he owes almost every store in the street? For what exactly? Was he trying to pay our debts with the loan? I'm not getting this and why is he telling me this?.
I stared at my father as he rolled his sleeves up and buttoned his shirt properly, what he said continued echoing in my head.
"For what exactly?" I managed to ask one of the questions in my head as I bent down to drop his shoes I just cleaned.
"It's just a small loan, enough to pay your younger ones school fees so they can go back to school. They have been home for too long and at least we can keep some food in the house".
I gave him a quizzical look as I stood upright,"how genuine is this loan dad?"
"It's genuine trust me, you know I don't do this on a normal day" my brows raised at that "listen Olivia I really need to do this, look I've followed them to their office, they even have a website how realer can it be? I just need to sign a few documents and change some things on my credit card.
I heaved a tired sigh, I was really tired of the situation my parents have to go through every time, no happy moments seems to last, we celebrate our happy days like it were our last because we know that after that came a huge wave of bad happenings.
I really wish I could help in any way possible.
"So how are you going to pay back?".
"It's a small loan, I'll figure something out".
I really didn't like that idea one bit. Knowing my dad well, once things start to move to an extent he totally forgets the force behind it and relaxes, then that force comes in with full force, crashing everything. Over again.
I'm sure he hasn't told my mom, if not he wouldn't be telling me.
I handed him his bag and he made his way to the door and then I dropped it "Does mom know about this?".
His whole being tensed up. He hasn't spoken to my mom for sometime now all because of the issue of my younger ones at home. It was better if they were quarrelling about it than just acting like total strangers. No one seemed to notice it but I do, they don't even greet each other any longer. My mom acts like she isn't concerned about it but I see the hurt, the frustration, the devastation, the heartbreak every time I look into her tired eyes, it shatters my already broken heart.
And my dad, he's just been grumpy to everyone, leaves the house very early in the morning and comes back home late at night, sometimes drunk. It's frustrating to see things go this way… way too sour.
"I haven't told her, I'm not telling her and I don't intend telling her".
"But sh…
"But nothing, Oliver she's not knowing anything".
"Why would you want to hide this from her?".
"So you are also questioning my ability to run this family right?" He was pissed.
Shit
"No sir, I'm sorry sir" I interjected.
I hated to see my father look weak. I was angry, pissed, mad at him for all that was happening but I didn't blame him. Mistakes happened and it had to happen through him. I was angry at him but I definitely don't hate him to make him appear like a weakling.
I hate how I'm feeling and how helpless I am
"Good, and if she finds out I'm going to blame it on you".
Is he being serious right now
"That's not being fair on my side" I frowned.
"I honestly don't care how you do it but please keep your mouth shut" he sighed for the umpteenth time. "I just don't want to hurt her again, please Olivia do this for me ".
Keeping secrets from her would hurt her more
But I didn't voice that out before he thinks I'm taking sides and gets angry again.
"Where's your mom by the way?".
"She already left for work".
"Please make sure your younger ones don't go out, let them stay here I don't want people talking nonsense with their mouths"
Petty nonsense, like it matters right now
"Yes sir"
I was already getting irritated with the last sentence he made like that was what he cared about, I rolled my eyes internally.
"I'm off"
"Bye" in the most bored tone I could muster
He got to the door
I heard his bag drop on the floor, he's body tensed, eyes bulged out, mouth agape. I rushed to see what was wrong.
And there I received the shock I wasn't only expecting but wasn't not also imagining…
Right there I met the eyes that held so much emotions one couldn't decipher
"Mm...mom...mom what are you doing he–
I couldn't even finish my sentence as I saw my dad laying on the cold floor...