Oftentimes we wonder why marriage crashes suddenly, why we tend to stop loving those who we have vowed to love to the end of our lives, why we suddenly develop hatred and dislike for the person we once would give the whole world for. This thought mostly ravages through my mind anytime i see crashed marriages and relationships and i realize that what we call love might not be love itself.

The oxford dictionary gives two broad meanings of love as highligted below.

  1. an intense feeling of deep affection.

  2. a great interest and pleasure in something.

These two broad definitions of love would be the basis of my submission.

Firstly, love as an intense feeling of deep affection is what we generally term when likeness has gotten to its peak and we find ourselves no longer in control of our emotions. Most oftentimes than not, this feeling burns us from within if we fail to let it out and we start developing a plethora of other feelings such as jealously, occasional anger etc. this is mostly because we are unable to get what we love or feel threatened that someone else has taken that spot. It is a feeling that if properly not understood can be misinterpreted for other types of feelings such as likeness, infatuation, crush etc.

The second definition which is a much more broader and apt definition for the kind of love we feel today is
a great interest and pleasure in something. This begs the question, when we say we love someone do we actually love the person? Or how the person makes us feel.

If i ask you what food do you love the most, your answer might probably be i love chicken, i love rice, i love this and that but in reality do you actually love those things or how they taste which is what you derive from eating them. Therefore in reality we do not actually love chicken but how chicken tastes and how it makes us feel. Whenever it stops tasting that way and the feeling as a result is gone, we stop loving chicken.

This is same for marriages or relationships, that person you say you love, you love them basically because of how they make you feel and literally how they taste. Once that taste and feeling derived is lost we automatically stop loving the person and the whole relationships and vows goes down the drain.

Love should be selfless and not necessarily attached to anything but it is quite difficult to love without a reason. Something fuels that passion and makes you feel that way. Whenever that fuel is unavailable the passion automatically dies.

I want you to take a deep breath and reflect on the person you love. Ask yourself why do you love this person, is your feeling dependent on their individuality or on what you get from them.

This is just like what @onwugbenuvictor said in his post What's Real Love?

Many mistake real love for sex, attraction, convenience, having a good time, one-sided feeling and infatuation.


Love is intangible and thus should not be anchored on physical appearances or the physique of the individual.

Do you agree? Kindly leave your comments.

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