Yes, once again it's gonna kick off with something personal. I actually enjoy it that way because it creates this avenue to say more, because with more personal experience, there's more lessons or thoughts to pass across.
So then, hello Brainers
Equanimity is just a state of being calm and composed especially under stress, and I suppose everyone knows that by now. However, despite having such a simple meaning to itself, it's actually something that's very difficult to acquire.
Down here in Nigeria there's quite a lot of superstitions, and growing up in such an environment is really difficult, scary to the most of it.
When I was young, I experienced something really weird. So, I was sleeping a certain night, if I can quite remember, this is something that either happens at the early stage of laying down or at about when I am supposed to be awake. So it occurs differently, I can't tell what hour it happened this time, but then, here's what occurred.
I was sleeping, no biggie, after I close eyes, am suppose to just wake up later on, as humans we don't know how it happens that we wake up, even though science tries to prove a lot of things, we still have to believe the process of sleeping and waking up is "actually" a miracle.
So, this time, unlike easily laying in bed and getting back up, I was trapped in something I'd call a terrible "dream state" . You could call it a nightmare but then, it's only a nightmare once you're able to actually free yourself from it.
"Sleep Paralysis"
I really don't know the type of human I am. Am the type that has been through a lot when it comes to the short time world humans visit during the night hours. I've had dreams, lucid dreams, nightmares, false awakening ( story for another day.) Basically just so much that I only got to know of after a lot of research when it was getting out of hand.
Sleep Paralysis and I are like companions, it's not something I experience every night tho, but it comes often because of "stress"
While I was sleeping, I felt this urge in my dream state to get up, I tried getting out of bed but couldn't. It was like the weight of the world was on my chest, at this point, I couldn't feel my breathing, literally!
At some point I told my mom and she was like she's had similar experiences, but Dad took it as a joke. Actually, it was a laughable shit, because we had superstitions get to us, we believed it was supernatural powers, like witches and wizards trying to kill us, dumb right?
Well if you're in Nigeria not everyone will see it to be dumb, there's just a lot of shits going on here.
I got to realize that it was only the weakness of the muscles that caused this Paralysis, in other words stress!
There were no supernatural powers attached!
After a couple of research, I learnt to handle it whenever it comes, that's where the word "Equanimity" comes in!
Trust me, staying calm at the trap stage is hard, despite how much I try to compose myself, I always panic, I mean I am never able to breath at this stage. Muscles go so weak that I can't even move a finger, it's always that serious and scary!
Well, honestly speaking, I'd be fine with me not being able to move, but not breathing? Seriously? That's like me having 5 seconds away from being a dead person, because I'm not so good at holding my breathe.
Practicing Equanimity is never so easy. Under stress, people do a lot of crazy things, and panicking is just the first shit that follows. To most people, this may sound weird, or awkward, whichever, but if you have had people around that experience this, they can tell you that staying calm at this point it is really difficult, and actually making it out is like escaping death.