7 Surefire ways to make yourself more exotic

Are you as bland as freshly made milk flavoured porridge? How can you stand out in the crowd and be tres exotique?

I'm giving you secrets nobody else will because I've had a covid isolation induced personality change.

1 - Get an orange tan: The lovely orange tan as worn by fashion icon Drumpf will surely add an exotic where-is-this-person-even-from mystery to your existence. It will also confuse people of colour like me into thinking do we look orange?

2 - Introduce heavy breathing into your conversation: Through strategic heavy breathing, you can give your language an exotic twist. Just don't overdo it, you might be gifted several inhalers next birthday.

3 - Get exotic pets: Cats and dogs are too mainstream, maybe think about getting a sugar glider or a scarlet macaw.

4 -Dress exotic: Gentlemen borrow your dad's hawaiin shirts- bonus is your mom will love you for this, ladies take out that sarong you bought at the flea market your friend had dragged you to after her last breakup.

5 - Music: Introduce some traditional bedouin music in your playlist like the classics - Asmar Khafif al-Roh and watch people be in awe of you.

6 - T- shirts - you know those t-shirts that read I heart NY, I heart Amsterdam, swap them for some of these:

image.png t shirt image source

7 - Dance - Learn some exotic dance (er not that one, well only if you want to) steps like the bon odori or the kuchipudi. Will help you spread your exotic propaganda at parties.


This is part of word of the week contest. The above post is a satire.


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